Provencal in LA

The Take-Home Dress

2011-01-25T06:22:00.000-08:00

What a glorious evening of fun, complete with bruised soles and weary feet from walking to five parties after Golden Globes awards, yet a full heart and soaring spirit! That was what Golden Globes experience did for me. But, the showstopper for the evening was Janet Nepales, the spouse of Ruben Nepales, a Board of Directors member of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, who was recently mentored by Judy Solomon.

Janet, the hot fox whose left shoulder was touched by Johnny Depp, who was noticed by Jon Hamm and another man who told her that she was hot and placed his arm on Janet's shoulder saying, "C,mon I am taking you home." Janet's reaction made us chuckle: "He must have thought of me as Chinese food."

That was our hot fox, Janet Nepales, a member of the prestigious Hollywood Foreign Press Association. She strutted the gown fashioned by Carlyn Nuyda Calloway of Thumbelina. She walked like a princess, a mermaid, a beautiful queen -- call it what you want but she owned the red carpet when she walked it. All eyes were on her and her gown. Lea Michele of Glee screamed upon seeing her outfit.

Of course, the most endearing comments came from spouse Ruben.

Ruben kept posting her photos on Facebook saying, “Bear with the proud husband for posting non-stop about how his wife Janet Nepales looked in her gown by Carlyn Nuyda Calloway ( Thumbelina Cnc). I heart my wife but last night, I fell in love with her all over again! Bravo, Carlyn! Mama Rocio Nuyda, you have a genius daughter!"

I wanted to tell him not to forget that I introduced them to the family of artistic Nuydas. I even chauffered Janet to Thumbelina’s shop. Success has many fathers and mothers and truly that night, Janet shined in Thumbelina’s gown that I, too, shared her joyous splendor. She danced all night, feeling like she owned the dance floor. And she did -- stealing thunder so folks watched as she danced with Harry Shum Jr., after a flawless cha-cha dance with husband Ruben.

To see her dress glimmer next to Paris Hilton and to recognize it as equivalent in grandeur and excellence -- one can absolutely say the genius is in Thumbelina’s hands. Thumbelina described it as

"The dress's silhouette is a one-shoulder long sleeve mermaid gown made from silk taffetta and ruched silk tulle. The skirt is made from embroidered silk tulle composed of flowers in various stages of bloom in hues of peach, nude and coral against a backdrop of a soft sage green.

On the bodice, I hand sewed silk tulle appliques of leaves and flowers cascading from the shoulder down to the waist. It is lightly hand-beaded with vintage diamantes for a hint of sparkle. The gown's skirt has a sweep train.

The jewelry was generously provided om loan by Tabesh Mirmirani for Amrapali, a leading jeweler in the world. I noticed many celebs wearing Amrapali last night including Globes winner Dianne Warren. The earrings set in 24k gold is composed of almost 14 carats of diamonds surrounded by little rose cut diamonds. The cuff, also set in 24K gold is made from raw cut clear and champagne diamonds fashioned in an art deco setting.

Lind Duclos is my Tailluer Principale (Lead tailor)"

Yong Chavez had this to say about Thumbelina’s creations: “Janet’s [gown] was such [a] head turner! Her gown was so intricately made and yet it wasn't cumbersome so she was able to party all night wearing it. I think Thumbelina's gowns are magical!"

Thumbelina's genius, Carlyn Nuyda Calloway next to another hot fox, Yong Chavez, Balitang America newscaster!

Yong also wore a Thumbelina creation that was similarly a head turner to the point that one of the television newscasters propositioned her to go out on a date. Wow, two take home dresses by Thumbelina in the Golden Globes!

Sorry fellas, both stunning head-turners are already happily married!

Sitting in the Chair of Privilege

2010-11-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

"Life is a battle – you must enter into it fully, and do what needs to be done. You cannot shrink from your duty. Life presents difficult, sometimes horrendous situations, unwelcome tasks, and obstacles of every sort. Despite this harsh reality, you must resolutely go forward." Pierro Ferrucci

I have wrongly believed life is a battle, in which I have to face all the challenges everyday by myself. It was much later in life that I realized that my Universal Partner is always with me and that I have the capacity to create my own life of privilege.

I have often wondered what it is like to sit in "The Chair of Privilege," wherein one’s check book is freely accessible towards a donation to a church project or a non-profit cause. Or perhaps where one’s circle already includes the ‘sifted and the centrifuged ‘ crème de la crème of society. They can be folks who have endured their own life’s challenges, embraced them, and now are at a point of coming to their privileged times of harvesting the fruits of their labor.

Or simply folks who are children of elites, who have no financial barriers yet still, have interior challenges of living a life of purpose, fulfilling their own goals using motivation and determination that we all must have to reach ours.

When I was going to the University of the Philippines’ College of Home Economics to pursue a science degree in food technology, I was part of a different universe. Some of my classmates were children of elites, chauffered by their own drivers, in their own cars, to the university campus. I was trained by my working parents and my elder sister to take the bus and to ride the "ikot jeepney" to reach one end of the campus, and back. It was a sheltered life: go to classes, go to mass, go to cafeteria, do laboratory experiments and sleep in the dorm. Our weekends were spent at Ma Mon Luk for siopao and mami and the movies.

While I lived a sheltered campus life, I was not content. I instead, compared myself to the children of elites, as if I have much less. My mindset was quite wrong. Somehow, I expected a rich person, an elite to reorient my life to work for me. I did not educate myself to look at my parents as my role models. Not having that secure belief in my family and myself hindered me.

Could it have been my Christian education then in the early sixties, wherein the nuns emphasized a life centered on academics and prayers, but not service to country and its poor? Or was it my university education which emphasized having the skills to work abroad, but not harnessing my skills to improve the industries in the Philippines? While my core education gave me skills, I did not have the inner fortitude to have a correct mindset.

It was not till much later when I was in the United States, that I came to realize how much my father, Eleazar, sacrificed to get his higher education in law. He was an orphan, and without financial means of support from his parents, he befriended hunger. It was his daily companion. He walked barefoot several miles to go to school. He had water but no food. He believed that his higher education was his ticket out of poverty. And it was by divine providence that he got to eat.

His active imagination helped him visualize a better life for himself. Then, he met my mother, Asuncion, who herself was determined, and had her own inner determination. She burned the midnight oil to get her master’s degree in Science, while teaching full-time and raising five girls. She showed me by example how to work hard to reach our goals.

While I had those life examples to learn from, I took them for granted. I incorrectly viewed myself as poor, when I am richly endowed with my parents’ life examples of patience, perseverance, true grit and imagination.

Because of what they showed me, I instinctively knew I can pursue higher education. Because of how my dad and my mom sacrificed, I knew I can achieve, with sacrifice and hard work.

But, my life did not turn around to a life of privilege until I was grateful for what God has endowed me: my own skills, talents and knowledge. It did become a life of meaning, of purpose when I serve others, mentoring them to reach their own life’s goals.

I began to realize that my own poverty of imagination and my own poverty of spirit stopped me from having a life of privilege, one that is connected to the Higher Source of imagination and creativity. I stopped desiring what others have. I started cultivating my own gifts of imagination and creativity.

So here goes now, my life begins with an ambitious climb of 282 steps. This overlook trail was created by the collective foresight of the community and good governance by the state government. It took over a decade for the community to gain this public victory. Yet, the Baldwin Hills’ African American community persisted, and sustained their community efforts not to fall apart to dissension. They solidified their ranks, through their social ties, and with their own creative skills of coming together by holding coffee klatches, movie nights and dinner potlucks, they succeeded in stopping the development of 241 homes over 50 acres of private land. It was not till the land was bought, and state rangers appeared did the community truly recognized their own strength.

Now this overlook scenic trail is populated by folks of different origins, of different ages, of families persisting to have their own lives rich in imagination, rich in creativity, but mostly, rich in connections with their Universal Partner. Here is where I found a 78 year old poet, running up these stairs and working through her own issues of poverty, unbeknownst to her, her own writing skills, stumped by her own grief, and expecting folks to like her. Here is where I found close to century old - couple whose formula for life is not about viewing challenges, but to take a step at a time, by loving one another for 64 years and smiling as they walk together. They appear to be living lives of privileges, connected to their Universal Partner, the source of all Goodness.

The Reproductive Health Bill: Giving couples the freedom of choice

2010-10-27T21:21:00.000-07:00

“ But there is an equally great experience of suffering that occurs when we try to numb ourselves to the realities around us. It is like ignoring a sore and letting it fester. When we look squarely at injustice and get involved, we actually feel less pain, not more, because we overcome the gnawing guilt and despair that festers under our numbness. We clean the wound- our own and others’ and it can finally heal. - Archbishop Desmond Tutu

I have often wondered how President Noynoy Aquino felt when he went to the provinces or when he visited the poor around Malacañang. What did he feel when a poor student gave him his can of saved centavos, just to get him elected? When a woman decided to buy yellow ribbons to decorate the town he was about to visit instead of her medicines, because she had hope in him? How did he feel when he encountered the sufferings of his people?

When Pres. Noynoy Aquino came to the United States, he shared how he was inspired by kababayans he met at Max’s Restaurant in Milpitas, California. He admired them for managing to stay connected to their homeland, despite years of being away.

This reminded me of what Archbishop Ted Scott's words to his congregation, when he was installed in 1971: ”You are important as people. Every single human being is important. Our own sense of worth should never stop us from seeing that other human beings are also important. Christian people are called, not to a life of privilege, but to a life of service.“

What does it mean to be of service to the Philippines, whose growth momentum is blocked by its demographic trap? A demographic trap means any growth in the economy is blocked and reversed by a ballooning growth in population.

According to the CIA Factbook, the Philippines has a population of 99 million and is the 12th most populated country in the world. The country ranks 85th among 139 countries in terms of global competitiveness, says a study by the World Economic Forum. The idea is to have the situation reversed, where ranking in population growth diminishes and global competitiveness increases. Why? Because economic growth should keep up, even overtake population growth.

One of the indications of economic growth is the government's capability to provide ample education to the youth. But even if the government is mandated to make such a provision, the reality is that the Philippines does not have enough schools, nor books or teachers.

More teachers

Even if PNoy forges private and public partnerships with the wealthy and is able to build 100 schools each year, the president knows that the government will still be needing teachers for these new schools.

Will the government be able to train enough teachers to cope with the rate of population growth? Imagine, Php 1,000,000 per minute has to be generated just to meet school children's needs, since babies are born 40 infants per minute.

In his book, The End of Poverty, Jeffrey Sachs describes developed countries, where for each mother, there is a daughter to replace her for the next generation. But for some families, there is no one to succeed them, resulting in a fertility decline.

In a developing economy like the Philippines, a mother bears three daughters or more, tripling or quadrupling her replacement for the next generation and adding to the phenomenon called demographic trap. For the mother's generation, one classroom should have been sufficient.

To meet the needs of her three daughters, three classrooms are needed. This blocks progress in the economy, since a big chunk of the national budget is utilized for basic K-12 elementary education. This diminishes the funds for higher education, which is needed for innovation and global competitiveness.

What is the Aquino's government’s response to the major increase in population?

Pres. Noynoy Aquino said firmly that his administration will address the problem through the Reproductive Health Bill -- a move which will allow the government to educate families about responsible parenthood and to give them options for family planning. You would think that his stand on population control would generate robust conversations, instead of tension between the Catholic Church and the State.

The Catholic Church has expressed the moral option of civil disobedience against the President, should he push through with the passage of the Reproductive Health Bill. Why? The Church believes that the government must not tamper with God's will to procreate within a marriage.

Ironically, The Catholic Church itself is embroiled in sexual abuse cases, with some of its priests involved -- resulting in multi-million settlements. Pope Benedict apologized for the conduct, but has not made any action to right this wrong.

The Catholic Church believes that when a man and woman engage in sex, they are doing God’s work in procreation. The Church believes that “no man must interrupt God’s will”, hence, no condoms, or artificial methods must be employed.

But is the Catholic Church really entitled to do this?

Shouldn’t this be about freedom of conscience? Is a woman not entitled to her own decision in the event of an unwanted pregnancy?

Pregnancy does not start until the embryo is deposited in the uterus of a woman. Why not allow the process of preventing the sperm from going into the uterus of the woman, so the sperm is not deposited and conception is avoided? Why would God frown on this responsible behavior?

Would God allow women to have unexpected pregnancies due to sexual abuse? Or wives with abusive husbands to have unwanted pregnancies? Wouldn't God want these women to at least, have an option?

Would God be pleased when mothers are secretly aborting their children in backyard garages, or are abandoning them in garbage bins?

We no longer live in medieval times, when “Roman women threw their children in the Tiger river during the daylight.” Women need support in order to make an intelligent decision and embark on the journey of motherhood and responsible parenting when they are best prepared and are confident that they will be able to provide for their offspring, or at least give consideration to the capabilities of the government to provide for their children's needs.

Harvesting Goodwill: Heto ang Taya Ko!

2010-10-03T19:13:00.000-07:00

“We are blessings to one another, Choose the narrow gate, not the big gate. Joey Velasco, a painter, once said [ I live not by the time of the clock, but what is the meaning of life, meaning what is shared with others.]" - Fr. Arnold Abelardo

Fr. Arnold Abelardo, the chaplain who accompanied President Noynoy Aquino during his campaign sorties, concelebrated Sunday Mass with Fr. Rodel Balagtas at the Immaculate Heart of Mary Church (IHMC). 600 parishioners packed the pews and electric fans blasted to draw out the heat in this energy-wise Gothic church. Every Sunday at 4pm, a Tagalog Mass is celebrated. The choir, led by Pete Avendano, is world-class in demeanor, professionalism and singing.

The choir members are the face of the church, greeting folks warmly. The whole congregation warmly greeted Fr. Abelardo, who used to say Mass at IHMC, years ago, where five hundred folks were baptized every Saturday and eleven masses were celebrated. Today, six masses are held in English, Spanish and Tagalog. Two get-togethers for the parishioners were concurrently held, one in the patio and another in the rectory. We were in the rectory with Fr. Abelardo.

Fr. Rodel’s Prophetic Voice set the tone for that Sunday. He said: “Life presents to us as a struggle. All have to undergo hardships; all have to experience trials and challenges. In today’s Gospel, our Lord Jesus told his disciples that despite any hardship, they must strive to enter through the Narrow Gate.“

Fr. Abelardo then described his experiences. He considered the May 2010 elections, miraculous. Why? When the other presidential candidate voted, they got a return message, “Congratulations, you won! ” He is also the same candidate who took the longest in conceding to the current president. When President Noynoy Aquino voted at his precinct, all the PCOS machines failed. He waited for hours in the heat, and like the others, he patiently stood in line, did not cut through to the front, he had to vote manually and did not get a return message of congratulations.

Prior to Cory Aquino's death, there was malaise in the country. Folks did not know whom to believe -- whether the police, military, government or the private sector. No one seemed to be telling the truth.

Then, when Cory died, all of the yearnings and aspirations of the common people came out. While some politicians had ample time to prepare for their candidacy, Noynoy was asked to run for the presidency in August -- 9 months before the election. In deference and out of respect for his mother's recent demise, he told them, “ Wait, this is not my dream. “

Pinky, his sister, told him to go on a retreat. Pres. Noynoy Aquino went to Zamboanga under the auspices of the Carmelite Sisters, headed by Sister Agnes. His question was “ Eto po ba ang kalooban ninyo para sa akin? ”

Kalooban is a word in Tagalog that denotes one's inner spiritual mission. The president-to-be did not ask for his ambitions or political wins to manifest, instead, he asked is this your will for me? After all, his life was comfortable. But, he was steeled to have unselfish devotion to the Filipino people by his parents. Ninoy said Filipinos are worth dying for, while Cory said Filipinos are worth living for. But the question remained for Noynoy -- “ who will stand up for the principles and teachings of your parents? “

On September 9, 2009, Noynoy Aquino declared his presidency. Children, men, women, carinderia store owners, tricycle drivers, jeepney drivers all came out to support Noynoy. Even the Bishop in Mindanao donated his one month’ s pay for his candidacy,“ Heto ang taya ko!” It was a symbolic act of ownership.

Instead of buying her medicine, a woman in Bicol bought yellow ribbons to line the streets where Noynoy passed through. In an elementary school that Noynoy visited, children gave up their barya sa loob ng alkansiya na lata. Heto ang aming taya!

So, when Noynoy was asked, how will you sustain your candidacy, he responded with great dignity and openness, as he went from Aparri to Jolo, saying, “ Ang taong-bayan po ang magbibigay lakas sa akin. “

Ordinary citizens made banners from used rice sacks, banig and used T-shirts. “ Ituloy ang Laban, Noy-Mar Kami! “ Asked how he would sustain his campaign, Noynoy replied, “ Eto po, participation ng taong bayan, unconventional, barya-barya! “

Every sortie they went to, they were treated like celebrities. At some point, "I would be the one dancing", said Fr. Abelardo.

As a treat, he sang a very moving song to the IHMC parishioners, "Basta maghintay ka lamang/ Huwag mawawala ang pag-asa/ Isiping may bukas pa/ Iikot ang mundo, hindi lang kasawian/ Huwag maiinip, huwag mawawalan ng pag-asa, dadating ang ligaya."

The generosity of IHMC’s parishioners became evident once again. A second collection was done for the orthopedic patients that Fr. Abelardo cares for. Fr. Rodel said a dollar is worth Php 44, but most gave more.

Retired Presidential Security Guards who ensured the safety of former Pres. Cory Aquino volunteered to secure the house of President Noynoy Aquino, during his transition and installment as the 15th President of the Republic. They were armed, not with weapons, but by a might and force more potent than bullets -- The Divine Power guards the new President, a president who embodies honesty, integrity and wholesome goodness!

For the first time since he left the Philippines, Fr. Abelardo said, “ I felt that I am leaving the Philippines in good hands. “ But, let me tell you though, the calamity funds have been wiped clean, not by God’s calamities, but by man-made pagnanakaw. The budget has been decimated, the only monies left are designated for salaries of the government staff. "

Fr. Abelardo’s list of tourist attractions he wants to visit is long -- Universal Studios, Disneyland, Disney Music Hall. But for now, they would just have to wait. He is going around the United States to speak with Filipino-Americans about his observations during Noynoy’s campaign. However, he said, " I am not the Presidential spokesperson, I was simply a witness who saw what happened and attest to the character and simplicity of our president."

In Orange County,a kababayan said, “ Oh Father,anong masasabi ninyo baka naman hindi totoo iyan, baka magnakaw din iyan katulad ng dati?“ To which Fr. Abelardo replied, “Ikaw ba ay totoo, ano ang iyong gagawin para tumulong sa pagbabago? ”

There was a pause, a long pause, “ Father when I go home, I will endure the long wait and not insert $20 in my blue passport. That will be my contribution.”

The Corvettes (Cory veterans) posted yellow ribbons with messages: “Kaya natin, magtulong-tulong tayo." Instead of crushing the Filipino spirit, the calamities of Ondoy and the massacres of Ampatuan brought goodness instead.

Fr. Abelardo shared an observation. South Koreans and Chinese investors have bought restaurants, hotels and resorts in the Philippines. It would be also nice to see groups of Filipino-American investors become part of this renaissance in the Philippines. Ano ang taya natin sa pagbabago?

As for me, ano ang taya ko?

I will continue to harvest and write about the goodwill built by President Noynoy Aquino. When I see something glaringly wrong in the US in our consular offices, I will speak up and work with them.

Fortunately, for us in Los Angeles, we have one of the most honest, transparent and efficient consular generals in the person of ConGen Mary Jo Bernardo Aragon! We hope she will stay with us for a few more years!

And for President Noynoy Aquino, my wish is that he will preside over the best renaissance of my birth country, so we can all say that we are collectively proud to be called P-NOYS!

The Magic and Genius of Kultura: A coming into Grace!

2010-10-03T19:09:00.000-07:00

“ The design of the violin – those sensuous, feminine curves of the shoulders, waist, and hips ( Man Ray famously superimposed the instrument onto the back of a shapely woman) – is the result of a long simmering stew of intellect, practicality and some mysticism. It has been thought that the violin’ shape and workings were influenced by such varied forces as the geometries of Pythagoras, the transcendent theorise of Plato and the workbench savvy of Stradivari and his forebears. But the real reason a fiddle looks the way it does is simply because that’s what works best-though no one really knows why. “ - John Marchese, 2008

As design of the violin is described as a confluence of a ‘simmering stew of intellect, practicality and some mysticism, including a workbench savvy of Stradivari’ by John Marchese that suggests a timeless display of world-class talent and performance, so was the Kultura’s Dance, Rhythm, Harmony: Mabuhay! at the Ford Amphitheater. Almost perfect! A crowd in the parking lot, who I got to know for a brief period, described it as “ perfect and awesome! “

Ted Benito said it best: "Flawless rendition. I think the most fascinating thing was the triumphant union of 3 powerhouse cultural groups here in Los Angeles: Kultura, Philippine Chamber Singers and FASO. Kultura, whose dancers I am appreciating as some of the best that I have seen, put on some of the most captivating interpretations of Filipino folk dances. Banga's Alexandria Diaz Defato captured my soul and the abbreviated Muslim suite took your breath away. I define Philippine Chamber Singers as simply a flawless harmonization of vocal prowess. Period. The original songs they sang were irresistibly charming and clever. "

For me, it was less than flawless, only because I believe Perfection belongs to the Highest Maker, God, and we, as imperfect beings, can only claim close to perfection. But when one sees the grandeur of Kultura, its 25 dancers who were diverse in ages, bound by a common denominator of precision, skill, prowess and soulful meaning in their dance steps -- I began to understand the audience’s fascination in seeing dancers move not just to the beat nor the music, but possessed by the period characters they embody.

One cannot help, but join in the crowd, in their enduring standing ovation for five minutes, yelling “Bravo, Bravo, Encore!“ For indeed, our search for embodied greatness and excellence got fused in Kultura’s dancers, Indio and Philippine Chamber Singers!

After all, my husband and I started our cultural quest of deepening our heritage as Filipinos back in the seventies, when Enrique and I took our two young children to every Pilipino Cultural Night (PCN) events, whether it's at UCLA, CSUN, or UC Irvine and even FILAMArts. It became our children’s immersion into our culture. We found ourselves locating the bamboo poles, as they evolved -- now performing their dances in their own PCNs, teaching their friends in high schools and later, UC Irvine and Berkeley. My daughter, Corina, learned the Highlander’s Fury dance, from the tribes of Northern Luzon’s mountains. When she balanced a single palayok on her head, she considered it a big success given sweat from dedicated practice.

But, Kultura’s dancer, Alexandria Diaz Defato adeptly balanced six nesting clay pots secured by a turban which barely cradled the bottom of the six. The audience was mesmerized -- would her risky dance steps drop all six nesting clay pots as she moved her body? Though conscious of the load on her head, she gracefully moved and kept dancing.

When the Mindanao Tapestry dance showed the pre-nuptial encounter of a man and woman as seafarers on their journey, two bamboo poles simulated the movement of an outrigger boat, sailing to distant shores. These two poles were carried by two men on their shoulders, while the royal princess, Alyssa Capili skillfully balanced herself, climbing up the bamboo pole as she danced gracefully using ‘languid arm and wrist movements to ward off evil spirits,' craning her neck as her feet slid, struggling to stay on, and her precise training paid off, as she kept her balance.

She was lifted, while standing, dancing, barefoot on the smooth, curved bamboo poles. You could hear folks gasping, quite nervous and hoping that she does not fall off. It was as intense as watching someone do triple lifts on figure skating and holding one’s breath until they touch the ground, landing on one foot.
My husband had one word -- “Competent!“ Indeed, it was culturally competent, but it was also heritage-rich and musically and artfully literate!

What an evening of understated elegance, grace, and well-scripted fusion of dance numbers from Celia Defato, Alexandria Diaz Defato, Greg and Candy Sanchez, and the entire cast of Kultura. The musical genius of the Indio tenors: Pete Avendano and Gelo Francisco and shyly ramping up guitar renditions of Ric Ickard, whose guitar plucking is of the highest order, and the vibrant, alive voices of the Philippine Chamber Singers with synchronous sounds from the Filipino-American Symphony Orchestra (FASO) made the dance quite riveting to watch!

It is beautiful to see FASO’s technical orchestral proficiency grow. They were smooth, with no discordant notes. But somehow, I could only feel the feelings of FASO’s conductor, Bob Shroder, as the musicians played their instruments. In time, this young orchestra will age beautifully like fine wine! On their third public event tonight, their youngest musicians who are under 20, are now at ease. I will soon see this orchestra’s promise and potential on display when FASO Goes To The Movies next Saturday at the Pasadena Civic Center, let us not miss their repertoire!

I was enchanted by Gelo Francisco’s harana and his courtship with the dancer, Janice Santa Ana, a staged interplay that shows how the fan (abanico) in Pamaypay ng Maynila become the reservoir of unrequited love -- indirectly expressed through this lyrical kundiman or love songs. With some encouragement: a look, a smile, a playful dance of the senorita and Gelo singing the harana so lovingly, it was pure joy to watch and their brightly-lit faces had enough wattage to light the stage.

It was an inspiring performance that I could not help but be moved to tears. It has been a long time since I've gone to more Music Center events that I care to catalog, but even with their technical prowess, I could not be moved to cry.

Tonight, Kultura gave me not just the music that cradled me, but one that I suckled to as a baby, while being fed by my mother, Asuncion. As I looked around the audience who were also in tears, we lovingly affirmed our love for our culture and heritage!

I got goosebumps as Gelo Francisco and Pete Avendano sang the Ave Maria duet, alternating their solid tenor voices, so superlative, and majestically rendered. It was their ode to God, which they carefully, generously and so kindly shared on center stage. When they sang Usahay, even if I did not know the Visayan words, I felt their emotions of love, grace and playfulness.

But, let me tell you what got me prouder – it was the coconut dance! Kultura’ s program described ‘coconuts as the tree of life because of its many uses -- and for the performance, it was coconut shells recycled as musical instruments. There was a pounding of dancers’ bare feet on stage, as they rhythmically struck the coconut shells attached to their bare-chested bodies, heads, backs and knees, in Maglalatik and complimented by the clever use of Filipino martial arts called Arnis. I have seen this dance before, but the dancers of Kultura had varying body sizes, mirroring the true population, some with beer bellies. They were not selected based on physique and physical attributes, but for their prowess and literacy in rhythm.

Yes, there is literacy in rhythm. When you feel there is a beat, the guitar strings are plucked. It is not slow nor fast, but a soulful rendition which connects the audience to their spirits, their inner beings. Their tears, as well as mine, are moved to flow, regardless of gender. When the tunes change, it makes a person sway their arms, stretch up into the air, sway their bodies, not caring to sit or stand, but simply to move with the beat. When bamboo poles were slowly put up for the Singkil dancer to ascend, when she balanced her body, we, the audience, with our pounding heartbeats were careful not to exhale too loud so she would not fall out of grace!
Yes, the audience gave Kultura their utmost respect, not a sound, not a whimper, not any side discussions, for they respected them to showcase their talents completely, withholding none! They respected the cultural heritage, such that their performance had an imprint -- a continuity of tradition dating back to the centuries when our ancestors were culturally competent. Almost every word or utterance from their mouths was either a corrido, a composed sonnet, a composed lyric, a spoken word of poetry or a kundiman!

My, not only are Filipinos hopeless romantics, but our hearts were made to love and to be loved back by our people in their music through dance steps and musical arrangements and compositions.
Celia, Gelo, Nadina, Greg, Ed, Pete, Anne, you have not only created art, but also a legacy of richness in creative spirits -- something we are proud of to call our own! And to Indio tenors, Gelo and Pete, I forecast a future richer than Il Divo's, for you share your talents, not with the endpoint of wowing the audience, but with a soulful integrity, a watchful generosity that God gave you these talents to share flawlessly with others!

I whispered to Ted Benito: “There is now a new standard of excellence and quality you must aspire to, Ted, and you saw it tonight!” He smiled. Indeed, it was nearly flawless! Tonight, we cried, we stood up in tears, we clapped so loud, we hollered Bravo, Bravo, Bravo for an enduring standing ovation of over five minutes to Kultura. Kultura brought us home again!

Practicing self-restraint and good judgment

2010-10-01T11:09:00.000-07:00

“Members of the Society of Professional Journalists believe that public enlightenment is the forerunner of justice and the foundation of democracy. The duty of the journalist is to further those ends by seeking truth and providing a fair and comprehensive account of events and issues. Conscientious journalists from all media and specialties strive to serve the public with thoroughness and honesty. Professional integrity is the cornerstone of a journalist’s credibility.” - SPJ’s Preamble, 1909

My prescient publisher, Cora Oriel, asked me to write a piece about ethics in May 2010.

Writing about ethics proved to be more difficult compared to just observing folks practice it in their everyday lives -- the priest at my church, my mentors and some friends.

There were a lot of topics to choose from, but the August 23 hostage drama tragedy in the Philippines surfaced and I wasn't even expecting to write about it.

That fateful day, nine lives were lost from the pre-meditated actions of PS Inspector Rolando Mendoza.

A seemingly harmless hitchhike started it all -- but Mendoza had the intention to take the passengers of the tourist bus as hostages. At first, it seemed that amicable negotiations with regards to Mendoza's demands would suffice to pacify him.

But after 13 hours of unsuccessful negotiation, things became ugly -- eight critical incidents of lapses in judgment; omissions, lack of command presence by the police and the mayor of Manila; lack of training and capacity by law enforcement to handle the hostage-taking situation; and irresponsible coverage by the media were some of the culprits behind the worsening.

After the tragic incident, investigations were immediately conducted. Secretary of Justice Leila de Lima chaired the Incident and Investigation Review Committee, composed of Jesse M. Robredo, Roan Libarios, Teresita Ang-See and Merman Basbano. They released their findings in a 60-page report on Sept. 17, 2010.

The second rule in SPJ's Code of Ethics states, "Minimize harm. Show compassion and special sensitivity for those who may be affected adversely by news coverage. Recognize that gathering and reporting information may cause harm or discomfort. Pursuit of the news is not a license for arrogance.”

Here are some excerpts from the 60-page report:

“At 6:12pm, Mendoza announced live on air over RMN the approach of the negotiators and Gregorio and handed over the phone to Lubang. Rogas talked to Lubang and listened in on the conversation at the other end of the line as his broadcast continued.

At 6:14pm, Yebra handed the Ombudsman letter to Mendoza and the latter started to read its contents over live radio at the request of Rogas. After reading the letter, Mendoza said that the letter was garbage and that what he needed was a decision reversing or sustaining the decision, and that he would have even preferred a decision dismissing his reconsideration rather than a letter promising another delay in the resolution of his case.

Rogas kept on calling his attention to continue their live interview in the middle of the hostage negotiations. Mendoza then threatened to make an example out of one of the hostages and told people to step aside. Rogas continued his live interview asking Mendoza questions for five minutes as the negotiators waited outside for him to finish.

Yebra then asked if it is alright with Mendoza if his dismissal is recalled and Mendoza is reinstated, pending the resolution of his motion for reconsideration with the Ombudsman. Mendoza said “Alright, alright”. Yebra asked if the hostage taking will then end, Mendoza said they will talk again. At 6:20, Mendoza fired a shot.” (IIRC Report, page 24).

Media provided a venue for the hostage-taker to air his grievances -- sensationalizing and morphing his image from a dangerous hostage –taker to an aggrieved police inspector.

While his grievances may seem legitimate, the media seemed to have forgotten that he was still the hostage –taker and such an act just put 15 lives at risk. The microphone to a live radio carries a base of subscribers, and with that base, attaches a responsibility to relay truthful information that should be verified. Media did not verify with the Ombudsman nor the police authorities if he had legitimate grievances. While the hostage crisis was going on, Mendoza got angry when it was broadcasted on radio that he forced a chef to swallow metamphethamine ( Shabu), which became the basis for his dismissal.

In the middle of police negotiations with the hostage-taker, a hyper zealous member of the insisted that live coverage continue, oblivious to the mental state of the hostage-taker.

If media paused to question their actions – is this story so important enough for me to risk my life, orphan my family members, and risk the lives of others in the bus, on balance, they would have acted prudently.

Did Michael Rogas view himself as an advocate for justice?

"At 6:30pm, Rogas continues his live interview with Mendoza. Mendoza said he no longer wants to deal with Yebra because he is a liar and he lied about returning his brother’s gun. He demanded a change of negotiators. He also said the shot he fired was a warning shot at Yebra. He then threatened to kill TSE Ting-chunn who was handcuffed near the door if the negotiations do not progress.

At 7:07 p.m., Rogas’ live interview resumed and Mendoza threatened that he will end everything if no negotiator shows up. At this point, Mendoza said his disposition and his thinking are already changing. He was then interviewed by Atty. Ed Araullo who affirmed Mendoza’s opinion on the Ombudsman letter. Mendoza expressed frustration that there is no justice anymore. It was also at this point that Erwin Tulfo of RMN who was at the scene told Mendoza that he was going to the bus after being cleared to interview him with a camera. Mendoza then let him interview YEUNG Yee-wa whose 15-year-old daughter was still in the bus."

Should Rogas and Erwin Tulfo have stopped when they heard Mendoza fire the first shot at 6:20pm? While Michael Rogas was understandably in ‘hot pursuit’ of a story, they could have decided between themselves that there are lives on the line.

“Gregorio was escorted through the side exit of the PCP by Col. Po and handed over to Major Navales but he immediately ran towards the front of the PCP where the media were camped out, sat on the pavement and started shouting. This drew the attention of the media who converged around him. Salvador heard Gregorio shout “Papatayin nila ako! Papatayin nila ako! Hindi ako accessory!” (They will kill me! They will kill me! I am not an accessory!). He was lying on the floor while his police escorts just looked on and told him to stand up because it was embarrassing. After a while Col. Po, together with some policemen, tried to pacify Gregorio and stand him up. However, his brother, son and daughter were clinging to him. Col. Po then explained to the media why he was being brought to the MPD. He then asked the media to stop covering the scene being made by Gregorio but the media kept on covering the scene until Gregorio was carried to a police car.

The GMA News 7’s live coverage showed Susan Enriquez interviewing Gregorio as he sat on the pavement crying out that he is not an accessory, as he was being shielded by relatives, and as he was bodily carried by policemen to the police car. The coverage did not stop until the firing of several shots in intervals was heard from the bus more than a hundred meters away.” (IIRC Report, page 27).

If you were part of GMA News 7 and Radio Mo Network, would you have drawn the line and practiced self-restraint? When we, the media, act like superman, we forego our role to inform, to report the news. Our responsibility as media people and as journalists is to deliver the news -- not be part of it.

Impressing vs. Expressing?

2010-09-14T13:23:00.000-07:00

“Our humanity comes to its fullest bloom in giving. We become beautiful people when we give whatever we can give: a smile, a handshake, a kiss, an embrace, a word of love, a present, a part of our life….all of our life. “ - Henri Nouwen

I have been fortunate in being able to live in the public fronts of community, regulatory agency, professional associations, activist events, and now writing for Asian Journal. It is a life’s journey with many folks to meet, so many friends, and foes to learn from, but few amongst thousands stood out.

Few stood out because they had aligned their lives to match their values and their actions reflected in their enduring principles of serving humanity. Like Helen Toribio. Long after she is gone, we still share stories of how she made us feel, how she helped clarify our vision, particularly when we were so much in chaos. Or NVM Gonzales, whom I daresay was fulfilled not because of the money in his pockets, but because he loved his family. He had an affair with written words, and mentored others to live a life of meaning, not for themselves, and influenced many to write and keep writing. Some are still alive and when you ask them, they are happy, from living simply and helping out folks, like Tony Meloto.

Some still have growth spurts in their businesses that become moments of hell. These hellish moments become their sources of wisdom as these challenges transform them. These moments of hell are their spiritual challenges: do they give in to popular demand or do they transform their lives to reflect their true character and cherish their true selves? Do they succumb to avoid the conflict within and become someone impressing others?

Impressing others

I had a discussion with a friend, X, about life after 50. She felt free to be who she was, to claim her true self. While at work for decades, she learned to subsume her true self. She smiled and cracked jokes, even when she felt no longer joyful. What a performance that must be, a false mask that one takes off when one gets home just to feel real again.

It reminded me of Y, who confided that as a defense mechanism, he always smiles. He smiles when he agrees, he smiles when he disagrees, and he smiles even when he can no longer stand the person he is talking to. He smiles even when he feels like he can't anymore and by doing so, he keeps himself out of trouble. What a strain that must create from within: when he gets home and is mad, he screams, just to lose his mask of false smiles, just to be sure he is still living his reality.

Smiles and jokes for X and Y became their survival skills to protect themselves and consequently -- to impress. For them, the value in being not themselves means sparing themselves from conflicts and wounds, and so they go along to be popular, to be liked at all times.

They live to impress others, but inside, they feel awkward -- not at home, nor cherished, nor valued. They cannot honor their true selves, their true worth remains hidden, undiscovered even to themselves and unshared for others to learn from. So when they are invited to friends’ parties and soirees, a non-ending array of invitations, they go even when they do not feel like going anymore. They are called ‘sosyal’ -- a social butterfly. Why? Because their lives revolved around impressing others.

In impressing others, they make precise decisions of who will be part of their circle or not. They take great care in perfecting their small circle, tailored to make sure that everyone is marching to the same drum. In their mission to impress, everyone has the same look and fashion. It makes for a sosyal-fitting world of impressing one another and conveying the look of a very impressive group of people.

But what about their conflict from within? The human spirit has been clobbered, so we find many demonstrations of angst: folks needing to soothe their inner wounds, but they look for external ways to soothe these inner wounds, without considering the ways they can be of service to others. No one has examined the body of thoughts that got us thinking mostly for ourselves. How do we relate so that we are not impressing others, but instead, expressing the deepest yearnings of our soul?

Furthermore, how do we live so that we can stop comparing ourselves to others? What type of outfit is that? Doesn’t she look too flamboyant in that outfit? Doesn't it look like her seams are overly stretched to fit her sausage body? Upon hearing that from people living a life to impress, I started my own journey of looking within. I simply wanted to help out community folks, and at times, I get invited to public events where the rich and famous are invited. But now, am I living this life to impress?

What exactly is the essence of one’s character? Character is what a person becomes when confronted with a crisis or a challenge. Do they retain their true selves or do they impress others to convey a new image: remove the inconvenience, the anxiety, the turmoil they are going through, by being who they are not? Or do they respond with gracious dignity, reflect on the lessons of their spiritual challenge. What exactly was their personal share in that conflict, and if so, what can they change? Can they continue to express their spirituality in their actions to live their truth, aligned with their true self?

I want to live a life to express. What are we living our lives for? Look around us: the wasted efforts from wars, from unrequited aspirations...instead, how about living our lives in a higher sacred space? A positive space where we displace old wounds from ourselves, giving them away to the Universe. Then, after ridding our wounds and hurts, we can replace them with good lessons to learn from and thinking of how to be considerate to ourselves, to our needs that we have long forgotten because we keep living lives to impress others.

Grace Lee Boggs has two new questions for us to answer if we are going to turn this world around: “What time is it in the world now?" and "What would you do as majority in the world?" Let us start with those two questions, link them to answers from all perspectives, and install a process of finding our dwendes, helping us discover the essence of our humanity. What do we leave as our legacy to the next generation, as children displaced by a life of artificiality? Do we really want to live a life to impress or a life to express?

End Note: Dwendes, like little elves, dwarfs are each person's creative spirit, imagination, sense of playfulness.

Turning the Tide towards Justice!

2010-08-19T14:28:00.000-07:00

John Salud Mina and John Davis, one of my favorite gay couples!

“History is a chronicle of human struggles to build a better world for all; but even as humanity moves in that direction, it will have many deviations. A setback may feel devastating when it happens, but it is only a small deviation in the larger movement. There will always be a few who will keep nudging humanity to move toward that vision. That is the role of social justice advocates in every generation. History in the long run is progressive." - Daniel Boone Schirmer, Ph.D.

I decided to share my Rhizomes space in Asian Journal with community voices and allow a plurality of their voices to look at Judge Vaughn Walker's decision. I invited gay and straight friends to make comments which are now reposted in my blog, ProvencalinLA.

John C.Davis and John S. Mina are two generous folks I know. They attend many events, eager to help causes, from the Filipino-American Library to 5K walks for the Homeless, Historic Filipinotown to those supported by Hollywood. They said, “Judge Walker got it right. This isn't an issue of gay marriage versus heterosexual marriage. This is an issue of rights...Equal rights and HUMAN rights. Our love is just as valid as the love a man can have for his wife. Hate is the root of all evil. God does not look kindly on people who hate. If the marriage of same sex couples threatens the state of your "traditional marriage"... maybe the problem is with your marriage not ours.”

Keith Kamisugi works for civil rights causes, but also donates his time to significant campaigns, like Pres. Barack Obama’s. He serves on the boards of Chinatown CDC, Asian Law Caucus, CAA, Japantown Foundation and Nichi Bei Foundation. He said , “The American experiment with democracy, even after more than two centuries, shows that it often takes some time for the law to catch up with society. Judge Walker's ruling against Prop. 8 is in part a victory resting on the incredible efforts of many organizations and millions of people in this country that fight every day on the long road towards equality and opportunity. And the fight is not yet over. " Keith Kamisugi, director of communications at the Equal Justice Society, a SF-based racial justice strategy group.

Kevin Hamano is a recent UC Berkeley graduate. He helped some tech-challenged senior citizens on the use of Facebook, Flickr and computers, and now works fulltime in this tech area. He said, “When I heard about the overturning of Proposition 8, I became very excited. I didn't become excited simply because I knew so many of my friends would be able to marry, but instead because it provided evidence that my friends are just as much people as anyone else. In all, the ruling on Prop 8 is a great moment in California's history and the fight for equality. It is just one step, but a step in the right direction, nonetheless.“

Giselle Tongi-Walters is a student at UCLA, a popular movie star in the Philippines, married with two children, and is now directing her first short film. She volunteers her time to reproductive health issues for Likhaan. She too, is elated at the ruling. “I am overjoyed that Prop 8 has been overturned. Now the true essence of equality can be enjoyed by all of humanity," she said.

Giselle Tongi-Walters and her daughter!

Brian Imagineering Loo, an industrial engineer that works at a dream jobsite, Disneyland, has this to offer: “Hearing about the overturning of Proposition 8 put me out of words. I was very surprised to see that on the Federal level, that it would be seen as unconstitutional. I am very excited, nervous, and anxious to see what the next court will have to say on the issue. I never would imagine that all of this would happen during my lifetime.”

Jury Candelario, Community Activist/API Equality-LA, Director/Asian Pacific AIDS Intervention Team - Los Angeles, had this to say: "This is a great victory for human rights, not just civil rights. My husband and I were among the fortunate 18,000 couples who got married in 2008 before Prop 8 loomed its ugly head. We are thrilled with Judge Walker's ruling but this is far from over. We must stay vigilant and continue educating our community about the freedom to marry."

Alice Hom is the current California Partnerships Program Manager for the National Gender and Equity Campaign, a demonstration project for Asian Americans/Pacific Islanders in Philanthropy. From 2001-2006, she served as the Founding Director of the Intercultural Community Center at Occidental College where she worked on diversity and social justice issues. She served on the board of Visual Communications, an Asian American media arts organization. Alice is completing a Ph.D. History Program at Claremont Graduate University. She offered us these comments: “I felt a bit of emotional and relief that the ruling went our way. I didn't want my hopes up high only to be disappointed so I tried to keep a balanced view. I didn't think I would get emotional about it because I recognize and know that marriage equality is not the 'end all and be all' for progressive folks working for social justice. I did feel this strong sense of solidarity that this ruling is not for "just us" as queer folk, it's about justice. And that's what I heard from the speakers at the Olvera Street vigil/rally in downtown LA that was organized by Latino Equality Alliance, API Equality-LA, Jordan/Rustin Coalition and others. I went to Olvera Street to support and to show that LGBTQ people of color and particularly LGBTQ AAPIs are a part of this movement and we have other issues that are important to us as well.”

From the husband/wife team of Ruben and Janet Nepales, who are the first Filipino members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (the convening organization for the Golden Globes) and who recently spoke about their association’s philanthropy in donating over $ 1,500,000 grants to film-related projects with People Magazine: “Marriage is about the love and commitment between two people. I am happy that California is finally recognizing that,” said Janet. “When the state passed Proposition 8, it wasn't a proud a day for me to be a resident of California. Last August 4, 2010, when Proposition 8 was overturned, I was glad that justice was served and that the principle of equal rights for all was upheld,” according to Ruben.

In our circle, a good friend, C, had this to say: "Marriage is between a man and a woman. Gays can have their relationships and they can have their union, but not under the institution of marriage. They can have their domestic partnerships. We are not saying they cannot have their relationships as gays. If we allow gays to be married, who is to stop those in polygamy to be married? "

Let us hope this window is kept permanently open. I will summarize Judge Walker’s judgment and how it was arrived at -- key findings of law, the findings of fact, the credibility determinations of the witnesses presented, all in a 138-page long ruling in my next piece.

Kindness on the People's Coast

2010-08-19T14:12:00.000-07:00

Two beach walkers by the wading pond in Harris Beach. Taken at sunset. July 2010.

“ Right action demands that we find a deeper and truer source of energy and guidance than relevance, power and spectacle can provide." - Parker J. Palmer

Sometime in the 1930s to the 1950s, the visionary thinking of two Sams, have provided for the public enjoyment of 363 miles of breathtaking coastline along Highway 101 in Oregon. It starts from the border of California on the north and ends in the border of Washington on the south. It is a rugged coastline of spectacular views, attracting bikers and motorcycle riders and vacationers all the way from Vancouver, British Columbia making their way down to San Francisco and for the more adventurous, all the way south to the Mexican border. We were coming from Los Angeles to Seattle, the other way around. In admiring the rugged coastline, we thought of the right actions of two Sams, who envisioned and planned for the People’s Coast.

Sam Boardman negotiated for lands to be bought, as Oregon State Parks’ first superintendent and the markers in Sam Boardman State Park credits him as Oregon’s Father of State Parks. The second Sam, Sam Dicken, was a professor of geography in University of Oregon who persuaded the state officials to create the Oregon Coastal trail from border to border. He was worried that the rugged Oregon coastline might be lost to public access. He is credited as the father of the Oregon Coast Trail.

No cars make it directly to the beaches, instead, cars are parked in paved areas and the beaches are accessed by foot. Harris Beach was accessed minutes by foot, while another, Lone Secret Beach took more. Harris Beach attracts more visitors and is more interesting because of its coves, the wading pond, including waveboarders (they use the receding waves of the ocean and the compact sand to ride their boards).

We first met an Oregonian transplant, formerly from Chicago, in Harris Beach. Lisa works in a dental office. After work, she takes photos of the Oregon coastline and now has a collection of 1,000 images. She offered us the front of her car to lean on, with an Indian wool rug thrown on top, while we waited for the sunset. It felt cozy! With our map, she highlighted spectacular photography viewpoints: Natural Bridges Cove, Cape Sebastian, Cape Foulweather and more. These were all gratuitous by the way, unsolicited! With Lisa’s help, we got to our first spot.

We came upon the Natural Bridges Cove, a natural bridge that connects the two coves. The water looked calm and the serene. In the afternoon, the sight is breathtaking, and even more enchanting in the morning. Here, we met another Oregonian, Bill, who lives near Harris Beach. He loves Oregon and would not consider living elsewhere. “ There is so much beauty here that I am willing to put up with some cold. It is not too bad, it gets 50 to 70F, but for my wife, it gets too cold for her. “

We planned to walk the entire coastal trail to reach the Natural Bridges Cove’s beach area. It would be at least two downhill and another treacherous climb uphill -- only to find a fallen tree morphed into a log!

It became both a crisis and a reward point for us. Do we climb over or crawl under? We watched a thin, young man climb over the log adeptly. What choice should we make? If we do not proceed, we succumb to our fears of height, and stay caged inside this familiar fearful zone with no action. The trail was but 24 inches wide, enough for us to stay safe, but the other side of it is the cliff.

We decided to face our fears, kneel down, step a bit on the roots of a fern, not much to keep us from going down into the cliff. With our legs shaking, we practically crawled our way to the other side.

We met a teenager who coached us, as we crawled under the fallen log, and when we were done, he offered to take us to the lookout point. No need, but thank you very much for helping us! We wanted to do it by ourselves.

We went back to the trail the next morning. This time, equipped with feeling and a memory of a challenge conquered, we bent such that our body could fit the space under the fallen log without crawling and soiling our clothes. Perhaps when fears are let go, bodies become pliant and flexible. Once we got to the other side, we smiled, a big one that came from within. We walked most of the trail with no one watching us to make a spectacle of ourselves.

We walked uphill and downhill, more assured and on our own! We felt an inner joy to rid ourselves of baggage: no longer fearing the heights, no longer afraid of the cliff, and now, with a sense of ease that we trust ourselves to take on the challenges that life gives us. Our next challenge: to walk down to reach the natural bridges and do the ‘treacherous climb uphill’ to get back, and our third visit to the Natural Bridges Cove would be a charm!

But, in these two visits, we saw the fruits of right actions of the Oregon’s state government: of providing their coastline for generations to enjoy, supported by the right actions of Oregonians to put people first on their people’s coast! We feel blessed by these random acts of kindness from Oregonians, for they represent the best of America we love! For us, we scored one on life!

Sharing truthfully

2010-08-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

Female and Male Stone Gods on the left, perched on the seastacks, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. This was taken on Lone Ranch Beach, accessible from Highway 101, in Southcoast Oregon.

Cal Strobel's original art piece, using brown paper bag as his canvas.

“ If we lack confidence that life is trustworthy, that a life of live encounters will take us toward wholeness, then we will forever feel the need to manipulate, and goal setting will be one of our major strategies. But once we begin to see that life is a live encounter whether we like it or not—once we begin to understand that we can’t get out of it, we must get into it – then this concern for results will take its proper place in our active lives. “ Parker Palmer

When we started our quest for spirituality, it was at a period of grief and a series of mentors passing away one after the other. We started to question what life would be like during retirement. Would it feel like watching oneself deteriorate, going down in energy and simply decaying? Even the words we used daily became darker and ominous. We had to examine that there must be other ways to live one’s winter seasons in life to maximize our enjoyment of life but also to reach our maximum human potentials.

We started looking around for models. One model is to live an active life as entertainment reporters, just like the couple Ruben and Janet Nepales, though not quite retired, travel to film sites in Europe, Mexico, Asia and all over America to interview the rich, the beautiful, the famous on both sides of the globe. To the outsider, their lives seem a whirlwind tour each time: fast paced and on a treadmill speed. But their photos show smiles, gourmet food, and non-stop creative writing. Being with them is such a joy for the non-stop talk stories and laughing at jokes that we share. They have become known in the community as the “ naughty couple “ who make facebook a source of laughter. What we love about their work is their reporting on the depth and of course, the content of lives of Hollywood personalities: Jackie Chan’s offer to raise Jaden Smith for three months to learn about life to teach him the culture of another country, like China or Miss Oprah’s spirituality and wisdom, or our favorite, Meryl Streep’s literacy in literature.

Giselle Tongi-Walters, Janet's sister, Janet Nepales, Elgin Zulueta, Elgin's escort, Charina Carrera, and Ruben Nepales.

Another model of active life are the Strobels in Sonoma County, who exposed us to a new way of looking at the world, to use all our senses, to share what we see and to go beyond the use of intellect or the mind. Cal Strobel shared important life lessons he discerned from his own spiritual journey: share what we see truthfully, and to see the truth in relationships and allow the Universal Source’s “ third eye “ to guide us. We watched them as they kept a small carbon footprint, recycling a lot of kitchen scraps to the nearby composting station, and their love of outdoors: Leny with walking and Cal with bicycling and gardening. It was quite satisfying to eat the fresh produce they harvested: raspberries, blueberries, strawberries and mustard greens, oregano, basil, thyme and more. A dense fruit tree full of young fuji apples greeted us as we came into their front door with over seven foot high rose bushes. A female buddha and a bright orange scarf set the warm tone and a heart-filled welcome! Leny still teaches at Sonoma State University, where she founded the Center for Babaylan Studies and held their first conference attended by 350 folks. When we are with her, our talks are four dimensional in perspectives: academics, art, spirituality and indigenous spirit of Babaylans. We found our new spiritual home with the Strobels, since the passing of our good friend, Helen Toribio who used to be our a source of spiritual renewal for us.

What we chose to do in retirement is to allow the Universal Source to guide us, without too much reliance on controlling every moment and every activity with our intellect. We had relied on our mind for the first five decades that we believe that the next fall and winter seasons of our lives should be guided first by our spirit and then our heart. When we have new adventures, immersed in exploring new places, we say two prayers: one to call the Gods of the place to grant us permission to be there and to call on our ancestors to pre-select the folks we meet (we learned these prayers from our friend, Ted Benito, who got mentored by Uncle Roy Morales). By doing these two prayers, we are guided that the folks we meet are hand-picked for us by the Universe. Another prayer we learned from our spiritual coach, Loida Lewis, is to expect personal abundance. Ever since we have all these prayers and a positive, expecting attitude of abundance, things in life became much easier. Perhaps also, because we got into life more!

We were awed by these sea stacks but mostly could not believe that we are actually seeing Stone Gods, one that looked like it had a hat, and another with long hair, sitting together. In the past, we would have asked to rest our tired bodies and merely waited inside the car while our companions had fun wading, walking and taking photos. We made a decision to keep moving no matter what. We ventured with our tired feet and opted to relax them by walking on the beachsand. We felt an immediate relaxing, cooling, and calming effect.

In exploring, we witnessed a wedding and a couple sitting on their beach chairs, reading their pocketbooks, while next to a tide pool where sea gulls would land. We only could count twenty folks in a stretch of a mile and a half. Had there not been a wedding, it would have only been five. It made for a non-competitive space in parking but also an unconstrained use of the beach with an immediate destressing effect.

Here we could see also see the wild azaleas growing next to the black volcanic rocks, and we could also appreciate the rugged coastlines. Perhaps it is here, while seeing the stone gods of the place, where we feel closest to the Higher Universe, and while here, we have the human capacity to desire less suffering in the world and to see a better America at peace, where public good is a common aspiration of all and not war!

Discovering Daily Grace

2010-08-18T23:26:00.000-07:00

“I was with God all day. He was with me when I woke up at 530 am to greet the sun. He was with me when a generous, disabled man had a wrench and fixed the car’s flat tire, on our way to catch the ferry. He was with us when we missed our 10am ferry, only to find out a 1045 am special, only for that day. He was with us when we met the priests in Catalina Island, getting there after a mishap. He was with me when I got lost in a postcard shop, and located my companions not much later in a restaurant by the sea, when the cell phones did not work. He was with us when we took a chance to drive with an ailing tire yet, got home safely. God was with me and all four priests, all day and night. ” Fr. Camilo Pacanza.

When I heard this story from Fr. Camilo, I enjoyed it so much, I retold the story over and over. I then realized that my faith in God is equally strong. I expect abundance now that my dreams will come true, if I work hard to fulfill my dreams, a step at a time.

But, I had not expected God to make things right: down to the flat tire, down to the special ferry ride to Catalina Island, down to even the ailing car tire which sustained Fr. Camilo and his companion priests. He related it with such gusto, that I could still imagine how he greeted the sun, how the sun’s rays touched his face, but also warmed up his heart to say Mass, then, to drive an hour away in traffic, to navigate over the St. Tomas Bridge (which by the way, is also the same bridge where folks get lost, as the tale goes). Yet, Fr. Camilo and Fr. Rodel and two other priests found their way to see Catalina Island, and Fr. Camilo’s dream came true.

How does one acquire such a deep faith that anything from God is for the asking? I had stopped asking God, a friend, C, once told me. For everything I asked, He gave me. Instead, she is grateful for each breath and each day. She is a successful woman, and sometimes, she gives away portions of business profits, as gifts to the community.

Not J. J is a loving mother of a teenager, who recently lost her fiancée. She works hard at two jobs, her hospital career job and a business she created to share her skills. She shared her prayer, one Sunday Mass: to have a God-loving man as her life’s companion. After mass, she drove home. At a stoplight, she glanced to her right, and the driver of another car smiled. She smiled back. Off to another stop. The same driver followed her and smiled a second time. He then rolled down the windows, “ Are you J who went to this church sometime ago? “

She was surprised. How can he know this about her past? “ You were wearing this ribbon-accented dress ”, he said. “He paid attention to my dress? He is that much into me? God, you are answering my prayers, now? That was just minutes ago. she reflected. “ Indeed! For J and her newly ‘bumped into friend’ are ‘slowly’ dating, building up to a long-term relationship! To her friends, she said “ Be careful what you pray for, for they will just manifest! “

Yes, “ Ask and it is given! “

I shared my own prayers with J: to find a smart, intelligent, loving, community-oriented spouse 33 years ago. I told J that God gave me that spouse and he is all those. But, since I did not ask God to give me a man who will not try my patience, and God knows I have no patience, He gave me a spouse who pushes my buttons, for my patience or my anger or my frustration to be revealed each time.

I do have a real choice though, it is for God’s grace to be revealed in me or not.

Here is what happens. When I choose to be unforgiving, when I choose to react to my husband’s naughtiness, I lose literally all of God’s grace for almost two weeks: no parking spaces in any buildings I drive to, cranky folks to exchange pleasantries with, appointments cancelled, inability to write, even a power struggle with more nasty and dishonest folks, pipes breaking, literally all at once.

If I choose patience and love to be, I receive more grace: available parking spaces, errands done smoothly, strangers to connect to and to share stories with, an inspired writing day, blessings manifest and invitations from friends to be with them. It feels like a glorious, spring day, perfect for high tea and scones!

When I chose to give love and compassion, I get more of the same. It takes work to be all that, all the time: to be loving, to be affectionate and to harvest the goodness in folks, rather than their weak points!

But, in turn, God’s sacred space is what I consciously operate from, and away from an unconscious, reactive, difficult life which creates tensions and frustrations! My husband jokingly says that God has a sense of humor, that he was given to me for my God’s purpose, to create more patience in me! We laugh, we hug and we simply just be!

It is time to let God in, as if a fresh wind, as if a fresh ray of the sun to warm one’s cheeks, as if a Good Samaritan who changes Fr. Rodel’s car tire, as if a human GPS ( global positioning system ) to point the way for others. Yes, we are all connectors, but we must choose His love to manifest in our daily actions!

Ask and it is given! Thank you, Fr. Camilo and Fr. Rodel, and May God bless Immaculate Heart of Mary Church with more blessings, and with renovated structures, to last seven generations to come, in time and on time for its Jubilee!

Justice based on Truth!

2010-07-01T14:53:00.000-07:00

When President Noynoy Aquino spoke of a truth commission, and that there will be no reconciliation without justice, it sets his administration apart from others.

“To those who talk about reconciliation, if they mean that they would like us to simply forget about the wrongs that they have committed in the past, we have this to say: there can be no reconciliation without justice. When we allow crimes to go unpunished, we give consent to their occurring over and over again. Secretary de Lima, you have your marching orders. Begin the process of providing true and complete justice for all,” he said in his inaugural speech.

Remember that South Africa’s apartheid became an opportunity for Nelson Mandela to usher South Africa out of the darkness of apartheid -- where blacks, like Steve Biko, were sacrificed like animals, chained to the back of a Land Rover, naked, and driven from Pretoria to a prison with medical facilities, some 1,500 kilometers (932 miles) away to their ultimate death -- into a more democratic nation for blacks and whites.

“I remember when cabinet minister Jimmy Kruger heartlessly declared that the death in detention of Steve Biko 'left him cold'. It is not too surprising that, having been involved in a policy as evil and dehumanizing as apartheid, he had lost his sensitivity, his empathy for others’ suffering, he eventually had lost a share of his own humanity,“ Bishop Tutu described.

I wonder if those accused of murdering 57 folks in Mindanao last November 2009, carry the same ‘feeling cold’ as Jimmy Kruger heartlessly declared. I wonder if they silently feel that they have lost their civility, relying on their primal instincts to survive and tighten their grip on power. I even wonder how those who carried the salvaging acts of Ferdinand Marcos, including the assassination of Senator Benigno Aquino Jr. are faring with their souls and conscience.

Tony Meloto referred to this as “ kulturang hayop, hindi makatao, lalo na sa mahirap! Dahil ang trato natin sa mahirap ay wala silang kakayahan, ang turing natin sa kanila ay para silang hayop, napapagbuhatan ng kamay, inaabuso at ginagamit parang hayop. “

But, that is now in the past . As Governor LRay Villafuerte shared, “Camarines Sur illustrates how progressive thinking can triumph over poverty. Camarines Sur shows how opportunity can be found. Turn a local community into a global success story. 39th poorest leaped to 10th richest province.”

Camarines Sur leaped to being a richer province, when it collected Php 5.2 million more in revenues. With these increased revenues, and the threat to do public auctions on real properties not paying taxes, it more than tripled its original tax income, which may even quadruple, as they collect on tax arrears.

President Noynoy Aquino’s campaign slogan was not simply empty rhetoric: “ Kung walang corrupt, walang mahirap. “ It holds true for Camarines Sur, Davao and Cebu. When public officials serve the people, the revenues are there for the public to benefit from.

Over 15 million Filipinos voted for Aquino. They are hoping for a nationwide renaissance for the Philippines, a coming back to the soul of a nation, whose innate values are “ pakikipagkapwa – tao “ and “ pakikisama. “ These values make it a hospitable country to its citizens, and do not make its own population vote with their feet, as President Noynoy Aquino said.

Voting with their feet means leaving their country of birth, to provide for their families, even if it means living a life of loneliness, sacrifice and discrimination. Sometimes, it takes an overseas worker 40 years to work in a foreign country. Some are unfortunate to return home in a box, to be buried in the provinces that they left.

In one media interview during the campaign, President Noynoy Aquino said that judicial reform is necesary for the Philippines where resolution happens in only 12% of the cases filed -- compared to 85% for the United States and 95% for Japan.

Justice eludes the citizen when investigations do not start until four years after the complaint is filed, and trial in court takes another six years. Justice delayed for a decade essentially is justice denied, particularly for those who have no resources to wait for the judicial rulings to be completed.

This is why it must no longer be a culture of impunity. This is why the Philippines must nurture a culture of transparency and accountability. Not unlike what Henri Nouwen describes as: “ Christ is Risen means that guilt, loneliness, hunger, poverty, war, and devastation no longer have the last word. Death and all its symptoms in our individual and communal lives are not the final reality anymore. Depression, resentment, revenge, and hatred are all forms of surrender to the power of death and signs of our inability to see that, in and through Christ, death has lost its final power. Death is a gateway to a new life. “

We can be a more living nation, a nation that is vibrant, not just for the rich, but also for the middle-class and the poor. Not just for Christians, but also for the Bagong Lumad, the Muslims and the Igorots. As P-Noy promised, “My father offered his life so our democracy could live. My mother devoted her life to nurturing that democracy. I will dedicate my life to making our democracy reach its fullest potential: that of ensuring equality for all. My family has sacrificed much and I am willing to do this again if necessary.”

Mr. President, my high schoolmates recently floated a message of support in social media, enlisting us to support your administration, as you lead our country of birth in a path of righteousness, truth and justice, and reclaim our dignity as a nation, in the pantheons of democratic nations, proud of what it will do to root out poverty, corruption and injustices! I pledge and take the oath of supporting you and our country towards positive social change and justice! May God Bless the Philippines, a country I love, as much as America!

An Open Letter to His Excellency, President NoyNoy Aquino: on His Inauguration June 30, 2010!

2010-06-26T12:08:00.000-07:00

“ Since the world began, the sun has been rising and setting with regularity, a certainty we can depend on. Yet no one on this Earth knows how many more days will come. All we really need to know, however, is that each day can be a new opportunity. What we do with it is up to each of us. “ Joseph M. Marshall III

Addressing two people’s forums sponsored by US Pinoys for Noy-Mar, I had to tread with caution because I did not want to offend the community, which include close friends who support orange and green candidates. It was sacred and important for me to continue my good relations with them, even after elections are over.

I spoke more about the progressive capacities of Filipinos, how we were an example to the world in EDSA I, how we showed we are a genteel people who opted for ballots, not bullets to change the nation. This is why I believe that the radical left and radical right will stay in the fringes.

I really did not know much about you then, Mr. President. Only that you are centered on your faith and that you are spiritually-conscious. In the midst of chaos, you went into retreat to seek clarity. After the methodical process you went through on your own, you gained clarity of your own convictions and an appreciation for your own history. You were the heir to democracy -- the reason for which your parents lived and sacrificed their lives. It became clear that you are tasked to continue what they could not accomplish during their lifetimes.

Your father spoke against a muzzled infrastructure that was kept chained to power, and your mother had to work her best to withstand the chaos of seven military coups which aimed to derail our newly found democracy. Her detractors were simply determined, but so was your mother in serving the Filipino people -- the very reason why her husband sacrificed his life.

During the campaign period, your message was garbled. I could not force myself to be enthused about your candidacy. With the advent of Maria Montelibano who knew how to communicate consistently and positively, that changed.

By the time the campaigning intensified, we got word here in the US about your psychiatric report. My circle of friends, who were enthusiastic supporters, started to have second thoughts as to whether they should continue advocating for you.

When ABS-CBN began their slew of presidential debates, it became clear that you were the candidate who should win. Your answers to their questions proved that you were willing to put your own self-interest and ambitions aside, for what you wanted to achieve for our Inang Bayan.

Your campaign became a preview of your governance. Even your classmates blogged about you when you were still in Ateneo. The campaign had a consistent slogan, “ Kung walang corrupt, walang mahirap!" We could debate that, but when credible research studies showed that billions were being siphoned off the treasury and unavailable for public works, for public schools, for health centers, it made sense.

It was not until you had a one-on-one exclusive with Ces Drilon during your proclamation on June 9, 2010 by Congress and the Senate that I became certain that the Philippines will have a renaissance under your leadership.

I noticed how Ces Drilon became more respectful and deferential to you, as the interview progressed. During the campaign, you started elaborating on your views in the third person, making yourself less important than the majority. The last time was when Erap coined the slogan, ‘Erap for Mahirap’, but we know his plunderous record belied that slogan.

Now,your relationship with the nation will unfold and you will be drawn into many conflicts and factions. I thought I'd share some suggestions that might help you through the course of your leadership:

* Use conflict to create greater understanding, and to educate folks around the table as to what we do not need – this is not a debate, but a civil discourse, a debate of perspectives.

* Resolve the struggles of factions for control. If this is happening, as folks are jockeying for positions, it is likely because there is a vacuum of leadership at the top of the agency. Let these factions know you are in charge, but will not step in to do what they need to resolve the factions.

* Do not allow the media to define you. President Obama clearly defines his administration and who he is, and it still does not stop the hostile media from misconstruing his agenda, his purpose and what he has done. Thank God, we have Facebook, Twitter, and various electronic media so the citizenry can actually parse which ones are true or not.

* Keep a direct line to the people, by way of Facebook or an official contact page in your presidential website and going directly to the provinces. Dedicated citizens will give you advice, feedback and send in many ideas. Notice that folks texted and called in 200,000 complaints about the elections. We got those resolved as a nation, and moved on.

* Overcome the fears and defenses that block folks from relating cohesively with one another, for e.g the warring factions in Mindanao – can you provide arbitration, mediation with skilled facilitators and see if their brewing hatred and unresolved issues can be worked on? We do not need ‘mountains of bones’ as one poet wrote about the Ampatuan massacre, but more symphonies of peace-making throughout the nation.

* Release the creativity of the Filipino people, one sector at a time. When you get a sector to own a piece of your Administration’s agenda, then, they become co-owners of your vision, and co-partners in making the country evolve. We must grow as a nation, believing in our endowed strengths and creativity as a people. We must believe that Filipinos are worth dying for and worth living for. We need to collaborate and cooperate to succeed!

* Deepen the passion, the aliveness, the commitment of the Filipino people. When we are alive, we are more involved in projects for nation-building and have a deeper commitment from registering a series of wins. Yes, wins! We cannot afford to be one of the 20 corrupt nations of the world. If Camarines Sur was decaying as one of the languishing provinces to become one of the more advanced provinces by taking care of the poor, we have the innate capacity for a renaissance of all citizens to no longer live as refugees within their own birth nation.

8 to 10 million Filipinos around the world are making a living to help their families in the Philippines, remitting $ 17 billion a year. It shows that we are resilient, able to adapt, and have the willingness to help. We do not only live for ourselves, but for others. We want a nation that we can all be proud of. We want to be your co-partners in the creation of abundance, not just for the elites, not just for the celebrities, but for all citizens!

Let us make our citizens connected to one another -- equal owners to till the lands, protect the forests, navigate the seas and create progress for our country -- equals in the eyes of God! Congratulations and may you have the best, progressive six years of tenure!

Consecrated to serve the Nation!

2010-06-24T16:25:00.000-07:00

“ I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."- Article 2, Section I of the US Constitution

“ I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully and conscientiously fulfill my duties as President of the Philippines, preserve and defend its Constitution, execute its laws, do justice to every man, and consecrate myself to the service of the Nation. So help me God." - Article 7, Section 5 of the Philippine Constitution

When I read the two oaths of office, I realized that a higher standard of oath is taken by the Philippine President than the American President. The American President promises allegiance to the Constitution and to faithfully carry out the duties of the office. Aside from being the Commander–in–chief, the president also provides leadership to both Congress and the Senate on what legislative reforms must be done. During the term of office of the current President Barack Obama, he has signed numerous legislations.

The ones that stood out include helping the families save their homes, helping the small businesses regenerate jobs, no cost of living allowances increases for Congress for 2011, credit card technical corrections and even cash for clunkers to stimulate the economy and the stimulus funds that were provided to community banks, large banks, and to cities and states for infrastructural projects, including energy research projects and health care insurance for 31 million Americans. These were all accomplished in a span of about a year and a half of his term.

The Philippine Presidential oath goes much further. It carries an oath to do justice to every man, and to consecrate one's self to the service of the Nation. While it carries the same duties of allegiance to the Philippine Constitution as the American President does to the US Constitution, including faithfully carrying out the duties of the presidential office, the ethical standards are much higher and inscribed in the oath, in two parts: to do justice to every man and a consecrated service to the Nation.

What does Justice to every man mean in the context of the Philippine Republic? What are some of the injustices in the Philippines? For one, not all families can say they have a place they call home. Some are tenant farmers in big rice and coconut farms, that are covered by the land reform act. To do justice to these tenant farmers means that land reform must be implemented and land distributed to the tenant farmers, as well as supportive services provided to help them pursue farming as a source of livelihood independently.

Another source of injustice and inequality is the access to benefits in education. For the rich folks in the Philippines, they have Ateneo, De La Salle, even the University of the Philippines and University of Santo Tomas. But, in order to go to these schools, one must pay hefty tuition fees that working families rarely can afford. A film academy in Cebu recently advertised a one year diploma program at $14,290 while local residents pay $7,730. If minimum wage for a construction worker in the Philippines starts at Php350 or $8 a day, then, this film academy is seriously out of reach for his children, and this school is only for the rich families of the Philippines or the middle-class families in America.

To do justice to all families with children who are of school–going age, public schools must be accessible to these children, all the way up to a college education. It means that the president must seriously look at educational resources and make it possible for impoverished children to be educated as well as the children of the rich, if he is to do justice to every man.

Those two major agendas alone: land reform and good education, when addressed, will already make a difference in the quality of life of most families in the Philippines.

Another source of insecurity is the wanton killings of journalists and the kidnappings of church leaders and journalists. On Nov. 23, 2009, 57 people were cold-bloodedly killed in broad daylight in Mindanao --34 of which were journalists. If the President is to do justice to every man, then, he has to ensure that these murderers are brought to justice and soon!

What does it mean to have to consecrate oneself to serve the nation?

Consecration, in the Catholic sense of the word, is the use of bread and wine during Eucharist, which when blessed through the Holy Sacrament, becomes the body and blood of Jesus Christ, and partaken by churchgoers so that they may become the holy servant of God.

Bishop Desmond Tutu describes it as “ All the people you thought were just mere flesh – and –blood humans, with all their physical flaws, will be revealed to you as filled with divine light. We are meant to be god-like; that’s why we were created in the image of God. When someone is wonderfully generous or compassionate, we do sometimes stand in awe of that person, and that gives us a glimpse of the glory that is God. And if we had the eyes to see, we would look at one another and see the beauty of God, and we would treat each other with appropriate reverence and awe."

Applying that standard of transfiguration, of seeing folks with compassion, then, President Noynoy Aquino can no longer feel attacked by those acting out their own pain and suffering and he can begin to see “ the light of God shining in them." Of course, if he just did that, nothing would happen in terms of human needs and suffering. So, I would expect him, after taking his oath, to be a hands-on President, to feel the needs of his people, to hear their pain and suffering and to serve the nation with their needs in mind.

The ethical standard is high, to do justice to every man, such that no one is oppressed, nor hungry, nor seeking refuge from violence. It means that the president, along with the people of the Philippines must work together for freedom to be truly actualized for each citizen, as a rightful partner of God here on Earth. It is a tough oath to follow!

But with the support of Global Pinoys around the world who want to see a Renaissance in our birth country: “We were exiles in our land – we, Filipinos who are at home only in freedom, when Marcos destroyed the republic fourteen years ago, through courage and unity, through the power of the people, we are home again." (Pres. Cory Aquino, 1986). Let the new Philippines be born and be a righteous country amongst the pantheon of nations, worthy of the world's respect, because as a nation, the Philippine Government and its leaders act with respect to every citizen within its shores!!

Cooking Great Love in Weddings!

2010-06-22T10:42:00.000-07:00

“ Cooking [or designing a dress] is like the fruit of a great love: a strong and slightly egotistical love on the part of the men, altruistic and sensitive on the part of the women. Be it one or the other, it is always present, demanding its share of gratitude and recognition. Isn’t this natural? For therein lies a basic principle. Cooking [Designing] cannot, without risk, be stripped of its intentions, of its rites, of its symbols. It must create happiness at any price. There can be no happiness without love, that goes without saying, whatever the form of the latter. …Believe me, there is no cuisine [wedding] without love. “ - Raymond Oliver, a French Chef, 1969.

I realize I picked a quote on cooking but substituted it with designing a dress. This particular quote of Raymond Oliver speaks of what Carlyn Nuyda Calloway is about. She is a five-star creator of art, a person who puts others before herself, a designer who consistently recreates herself and actively imagines on behalf of her clients.

With Carlyn’s wedding dress creation, the bride becomes the center of the universe. On her wedding day, she feels so rich with designed, spoken love -- love in the details of the gown, love in the details of the bridal veil, love in the details of the zipper, the buttons, the hook and eye, even in the pressing and ensuring that the dress does not get soiled or wrinkled in the process.

Carlyn has designed for many Hollywood stars. With photos and remarks of appreciation shared on Facebook, they express a depth and a feeling of love for Carlyn, perhaps mirroring the depth of love and sacrifice that Carlyn puts into the dresses she designs for them.

It is a level of artistry that is so second-nature to her. I accompanied two brides for a first meeting with Carlyn. One bride wanted a specific dress to accentuate her body, one that is Art Deco in theme and one that Carlyn described as “ architecturally precise.“ The bride-to-be has drawn, in grade school, a specific bridal dress she wants to be married in. She gave her specifications to Carlyn.

Generous and magnanimous, Carlyn designed 9 sketches for her. The bride shared the bottom choices, first with me, perhaps to see if I agreed with her choices or not. Luckily, I declined the bottom choices. Then, she showed me Carlyn’s top two designs. Like the bride, I gave it my enthusiastic endorsements. Lucky that I mirrored her choices!

Weeks later, the bride found another design -- a design that mirrored her dream bridal dress. She took it to Carlyn. Inspired by this photo, Carlyn drew the bride her 10^th design. The feeling was mutual, an instant click, a recognition of a piece of art so divine, so precise, so becoming, that the bride embraced the sketch with a big smile! Yes, this is the dress! And you should have seen her inner radiance come through!

I was lucky to accompany a second bride, hoping to cover both their weddings for a more extended story. The second bride came with her mother. Carlyn, ever so professional, was ready. She had prepared the ‘provenance’ of her dress. She described where piña came from -- an ages-old weaving that is experiencing a revival. In its heyday, it was in most Greek weddings. “The wearer of this garment, this royal fabric, where each strand is knotted one by one, using pineapple fibers that speak to the weaver’s kindness and generosity”, said Carlyn.

“It is callado, it is full of passion, love and romance, and if in red, it carries with it good fortune and joy. It is like having a Balenciaga. Hindi palpak -- it is not even an Imelda Marcos type of terno, but it is haute couture, scalloped up and down to create a Vera Wang look, drawing the eyes down. But also for the callado and for the embroidery, a muted beadwork, sort of dress mystery to pop.

Then, if one looks at the silk tulle underneath, it poofs it. It is a bit asymmetrical, where it is cathedral length, slowly red, disseminating red, and then it picks up the french lace from underneath. Then, we have a bunch of crystals, spreading unpredictably, parang “sinabog,”Carlyn adds.

The second bride smiles, “ I like it, gusto ko siya. “

You know when Carlyn designed it. Both brides said “ gusto ko siya!” The rest calls for all to recognize the genius in this haute couture designer. Recently, she ran out of space and moved to an enchanting place, a few doors down. When I walked into it, I felt transported to a boutique in Paris, France! But, it is on 13940 Ventura Boulevard, Sherman Oaks 91423.

Haute Couture is a process, but with Carlyn, it is a process of joy and a process filled with love! Her dresses were recently featured in Balitang America, as part of Lyna Larcia-Calvario’s KASAL NY Events and Photography, a two minute bleep of fame. But for brides, it is Carlyn’s focused attention which makes them feel like royalty that will last them a lifetime!

The Buzz on Immigration Reform

2010-06-04T15:22:00.001-07:00

Cardinal Roger Mahony with an image of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

“ You choose to exercise leadership with passion because a set of issues moves you, issues that perhaps have influenced you for a long time. These issues might have roots that were planted before you were born, in your family or in your culture; they may reflect questions that live within you and for which you’ve decided to devote a piece of your life, perhaps even the totality of your lifetime. Keeping a sacred heart is about maintaining innocence, curiosity, and compassion as you pursue what is meaningful to you. ” Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky, 2002

As Catholics, most of our formative years were steeped in guidance by priests and nuns. I would think that this spiritual guidance has solidified a ‘ social conscience ‘ within us all in order to stand up to our faith and be our brother’s keeper.

The Catholic nuns made it possible for conservatives to see the value of health care reform during the crucial hours of the bill's passage in the House of Congress and later on, with the Senate. Therefore, is it possible to challenge Catholic priests and bishops to champion immigration reform?

As socially-responsible leaders in our communities, could our Catholic priests push us forward into a life of truth, justice and freedom --just like how Catholic nuns did it for health care reform?

59,000 nuns from 60 Catholic orders defied their bishops and priests, and issued what they called ‘the real pro-life stance.’Washington Post quoted Sister Simone Campbell, a spokeswoman for the group, as saying "We as sisters focus on the needs of people…when people are suffering, we respond.“

Health care reform bill was passed on March 21, 2010. I remember it as the first day of spring, and recalled Congressman John Lewis’ message in a companion book to the Road to Freedom Exhibit: “ Central to our philosophic concept of Beloved Community was an affirmation of faith in humanity – the willingness to believe that man has the moral capacity to care for his fellow man. …Our protests were love in action. We were attempting to redeem not only our attackers, but also the very soul of America. “

If we view those protesters calling for a federal response to immigration reform , would that change our views on who qualifies as citizens?

For a century now, America has been embroiled in a national debate as to who are the real citizens in its shores. Immigrants from Asia, Europe, Latin America, and Africa have come to this nation to search , not just for economic opportunities, but for social and spiritual opportunities as well.

In the beginning, freedom to worship was a national issue. By the 1920s, more than 2 million Jews had settled in America.

Then, the right to vote also became a topic for debate. It was resolved unjustly and classified African Americans as 3/5 of a citizen. Women were not recognized as citizens, until much later.

All these yearnings to be free got resolved within the shores of our beloved “spacious, blue skies of America. “But now, these spacious blue skies of America have been narrowed by strident minority voices, calling for the “carding“ of folks in Arizona.

Congressional candidate Karen Bass shared her observations that immigration reform is a cyclical issue, one that occurred 30 years ago. She vividly remembers what was done in South Africa, when folks had to carry their ID cards.

I recently met a friend who shared the experiences of a South African who was jailed after going to a party. Because he was in a hurry to get there, he forgot to bring his ID. Unable to produce an ID, he was jailed! His mistake has become a state’s record of unjust incarceration!

Imagine if the scales of justice were instead justly applied to companies who hold the smugglers’ monies, used as ransom for millions of undocumented workers kept in safe houses.

By some stroke of serendipity, Arizona Republic validated this to be, for on May 29, 2010, Western Union paid $94 million to settle a lawsuit filed by Arizona Attorney General Terry Goddard, alleging Western Union held monies for those in illegally constituted safe houses. It ended in Feb. 2010, without Western Union admitting guilt, but there was not enough media attention -- until the furor over Arizona’s SB 1070, requiring IDs for those ‘ reasonably suspected ‘ to be illegals, where the police stop, detain and arrest anyone in Arizona.

‘Reasonable suspicion ‘ has occupied the courts in the United States, as issues of litigation. The best definition I could find from Lexis-Nexis is from Robert Sabido: “ To have sufficient grounds for temporary detentions, the police must have a reasonable suspicion that "the person detained may be involved in criminal activity." Police must consider the "totality of the circumstances" -- all existing factors -- to determine whether reasonable suspicion exists. “

Even though this definition is reasonable, common sense suggests that a person responds emotionally, and while in the heat of a pursuit or arresting someone, a police officer is not expected to remember that he needs to look at factors objectively -- the so-called totality of circumstances. He reacts based on what he perceives, but also from his pre-formed beliefs and accumulated experiences.

When an officer is unfamiliar with cultural behaviors of ethnic groups, like Asians ,for example, who have a cultural belief that respect means not looking directly at someone’s eyes -- he can prejudge that person as guilty and therefore, must be arrested. You will seldom encounter an officer pausing to self-critique, wondering if an arrest has to be made -- as that pause, may seriously endanger his own life. It is time lost, which could have been used in going after serious criminals who are community predators.

This is why LA Police Chief Charlie Beck went on record against this law; he made it known to Newsweek that “ This is not a law that makes it easy, but harder for us to do our jobs. “ He referred to Arizona’s SB 1070 as a hindrance to public safety.

Even Cardinal Roger Mahony joined thousands of Los Angelenos in a May 1, 2010 rally in Los Angeles. Lisa Miller of Newsweek quoted his blog “ S.B. 1070 is the country’s most retrogressive, mean-spirited, and useless anti-immigrant, [with] totally flawed reasoning: that immigrants come to our country to rob, plunder, and consume public resources."

Mahony said that “The recent anti-immigrant law passed in Arizona galvanized everyone on May Day to unite all of our efforts to respect the dignity and rights of all immigrants, and to work for legislative reform which would better secure our borders, unite separated families, supply temporary workers as needed and through a just system, and to call from the shadows the millions of people here who need a path forward which would lead to a secure legal status now and citizenship in the future.”

On May 27, 2010, Newsweek's Charles Dickey’s reported through his column: “In a peer-reviewed paper appearing in the June 2010 issue of Social Science Quarterly, Wadsworth argues not only that 'cities with the largest increases in immigration between 1990 and 2000 experienced the largest decreases in homicide and robbery,'which we knew, but that after considering all the other explanations, rising immigration was partially responsible.”

If immigrants actually make a city safer and contribute in a decrease of crime rates, as supported by FBI’s crime statistics, why then criminalize those recruited to come here to America by scrupulous smugglers, or by the predatory employers of poultry farms in the South, or by agribusinesses needing workers to harvest produce, jobs that Americans prefer not to have? Why not allow them a pathway to qualify for a green card, after integration into citizenship classes, including years as productive members of US, vouched for by other Americans, just like Canada does?

Arizona Republic reported that 100,000 folks endured 94F for a five-mile march from the Steele Indian School to the state capitol on May 29, 2010. “We must stand together for justice, opportunity and peace. What we need in the United States is not scapegoating immigrants. We must stand together for justice, opportunity and peace," said U.S. Rep. Ed Pastor, D-Arizona on the Capitol grounds.

So, how about it, dear Catholic priests and bishops, would you care to champion a rational vision for immigration reform? For truly the First Americans are only the Native Americans, all of us are descendants of immigrants from all over the world, who came here to America in search of The Dream!

As Martin Luther King once said, “We are heirs to a legacy of dignity! We must come to see that the end we seek is a society at peace with itself, a society that can live with its conscience!”

It is in our hands to broaden the fabric of America to include those who are here and to make this a better nation that we can be proud of. We can no longer crowd the expansive, blue skies of America with our intolerant and hateful attitudes toward others. It is in our hands to keep the big blue skies of America free for us, who are here. It is just, humane, and it keeps our hearts sacred!

Democracy Works when Filipino Citizens Actively Cared to Make it Work!

2010-05-29T13:25:00.000-07:00

Los Angeles Consul General Mary Jo Bernardo Aragon with Comelec Representative at 4:00 am, May 10, 2010.

Fr. Meloy accompanying an octogenarian parishioner at Immaculate Heart of Mary on Mother's Day, May 9, 2010 and also a prayer Mass for Inang Bayan, Pilipinas!
Fr. Rodel gifting each mom 90 years older and below up to 70 years old on Mother's Day Mass at Immaculate Heart of Mary Church. A red rose for their passion in nurturing their families with love, and a red rose for Inang Bayan to symbolize our passion and to remind us all to say our prayers for the Philippine elections to be clean, safe and honest!
Mother's Day pink roses at a Los Angeles-based French bakery, founded and owned by two Filipinas: Carmen Salindong and Josephine Santos. They turned their bakery into a gathering place for mothers on Mother's day.

” The principle of transfiguration, of God’s transformation, in our world is at work when something so unlikely as the brown grass that covers our veld in winter becomes green again. Or when the tree with gnarled leafless branches bursts forth with the sap flowing so that the birds sit chirping in the leafy branches.” Bishop Desmond Tutu

Mother’s Day was the day before May 10, 2010 presidential elections wherein 50 million in the Philippines and 130,000 voters overseas were expected to vote. The day before, I was reminded that an Inang Bayan Mass will be held at 4pm at the Immaculate Heart of Mary Church. And what better way to show our love and concern for Bayang Pilipinas, by joining the international call for clean and safe elections.

Momar Visayas of Asian Journal in New York reported the joining together of Loida Nicolas Lewis with cause – oriented groups, Bayan and Gabriela, on monitoring the elections and saying prayers, signaled a new day we all wanted to see.

Both examples of coming together for clean elections, including the people’s forums organized by US Pinoys for Noy-Mar in Los Angeles boosted morale. My optimism solidified when I reflected on the efforts of a nationwide prayer group, during the last U.S. presidential elections, when hundreds of rabbis, priests, nuns all prayed for the Holy Spirit’s intervention to protect and guide Barack Obama, who at that time, was faced with multiple threats to his life and Americans wanted change in their national landscape.

Divine Spirit’s Intervention. At the Inang Bayan Mass, Fr. Rodel spoke of the Divine Intervention of the Holy Spirit that will teach us everything, whether small or big, and guide us to do what is good for us. I have been influenced by this particular verse of Psalm 91.

A thousand may fall at your side,

And ten thousand at your right hand;

But it shall not come near you.

Only with your eyes shall you look,

And see the reward of the wicked.

Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,

Even the Most High, your dwelling place,

No evil shall befall you,

Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;

For He shall give His angels charge over you,

To keep you in all your ways.

In their hands they shall bear you up,

Lest you dash our foot against a stone.

You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,

The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

Active Guardians of Democracy. I had been monitoring the ABS-CBN’s election debates and their use of the pulse of the nation or pulso ng bayan, at their forums, called Isang Tanong, Isang Sagot. 4 regional clusters of potential voters, selected randomly, assessed the candidates and their answers. They helped the viewers distinguish the candidates who spoke their truths authentically, and those who delivered their party lines, with or without regard for the highest public good. Credible candidates got high marks, while those whose body language betrayed their stance, got low marks.

A week before the elections, the automatic PCOS machines failed. Summarily, completely and comprehensively, when tested in several pilot locations! Asian Journal featured US Pinoys for Noy-Mar spokesperson, Loida Nicolas Lewis, who called on President Obama to have Smartmatic investigated, the company behind the election automation in the Philippines, with questionable corporate filing papers in Florida and with questionable ties to Hugo Chavez. The automation concerns influenced Joseph Estrada to file a petition to postpone the elections.

The Supreme Court of the Philippines ruled that the COMELEC did not abuse its discretion and elections shall proceed. By Sunday morning, eve of the elections, some of the machines still had not been replaced, and some of the flash cards had not been delivered. As more concerns were shared, 346 international observers registered to monitor the elections.

Typical of his calm demeanor, Noynoy Aquino stayed his course and asked the COMELEC to step up its oversight, and called for a parallel manual count. He called on his Yellow Army, his supporters, to remain vigilant, to monitor the elections and to hold novena masses around the world. By early Monday morning, the day of elections, failure of elections had been declared in six Lanao del Sur precincts.

In precincts with just 500 voters, it was a snap, one facebook friend took barely five minutes.

In some precincts, a wait of five hours and NoyNoy Aquino himself took 4 ½ hours, as reported by Ces Drilon on ABS-CBN. When asked why he waited with folks and did not push to get to the front, Noynoy said “ If we are to lead, we must also follow, like the rest. “ Both presidential and vice-presidential candidates, with orange in their party colors, managed to push themselves to the front of the lines. A stark contrast: one party felt entitled to special treatment, while another shared the sacrifice of waiting in the humid conditions, at 90F, with others.

In some precincts, folks endured a ten hour-wait to cast their votes. In Mindanao, folks braved the violence, the risks, as reported by BBC, and even isolated shootings from the Philippine Army, all in broad sights of the ABS-CBN television cameras, who could not determine the source of provocation to merit this army unit’s rapid display of machine gun force.

The Heroes of the day were the teachers, all 76,000 and more who used all sorts of ingenious ways to get the PCOS machines going: a paper clip, a hanger, a tip of an umbrella, even a broomstick. Kulang na lang na ihain nila ang sarili nila, sabi nga. It was the Filipino teachers’ ingenuity which led to enfranchising the votes of these Filipino citizens in these 76,000 precincts.

ABS-CBN, active guardians of Philippine democracy, made a huge difference. Weeks before the elections, they conducted televised training on how to feed the ballots to the PCOS machines. Karen Davila patiently learned the use of PCOS machines and linked with COMELEC to determine their policies as the deficiencies surfaced. The station deployed their celebrities as poll-watchers on the day of the election. They got calls from folks reporting problems, obviously frustrated and fed up, but voters stayed put just the same, to make democracy work.

It was the resilience of our kababayans, supported by one another, who made democracy work, imperfect as it was. Thousands of unnamed pollwatchers, even computer students offered solace to the voters who were frustrated by the automated system’s failures, and got the machines going. When Smartmatic technicians could not, the teachers took the risk of making the machines work. Imagine that!

Smartmatic’s machine imperfections literally showed up until the very day of the elections, some of which could have been prevented with adequate testing, quality control, and contracting with a much more seasoned company with a track record of systematic, nationwide automation. Smartmatic showed by their actions they were coming up short.

Still, COMELEC kept saying the failure rate was only .003% of the precincts, even if diminished to less than 1%, was enough, as only few hundred votes are enough and can actually change the will of 5,000,000 voters. Such is the importance of adequate control, testing and quality control that were unimaginably absent, as reflected by the failure of all 76,000 flash cards that registered results opposite to what were inputed during pilot runs.

Imagine if no one was watching and all these 76,000 flash cards were operational during election time, we would have installed leaders that were not elected by popular mandate. But, our combined vigilance and monitoring made democracy work.

In Los Angeles, we had our chance as guardians of democracy. We too had our long wait in the Los Angeles’ Consular Offices. We were there at 230am, and canvassing started at 4am, on May 10, to coincide with the closing of the polls at 7pm in the Philippines. Media came, which included Asian Journal’s Joseph Pimentel, the crew of Kababayan LA’s Jannelle So and Jorge, a single cameraman, Paul of GMA – TV, and UNTV crew, filing in at dawn. Throughout the day, 3 pollwatchers of US Pinoys for Noy-Mar in Southern California were present: Rosalie, Herbert and Christina, along with other group members. Two kept vigil until past midnight. Nacionalista Party had one poll-watcher, the rest of the parties had none.

COMELEC was too quick to declare the winners and even transmitted a statement aired over ABS-CBN at 440pm yesterday, that they had already received the transmission of overseas votes, all 100%. As of press time, today, May 11, at 234pm, we have no results yet from 3,609 votes cast from Los Angeles, Texas, Southern Nevada, New Mexico and Arizona. Balitang America today reported 1,183 votes for Noynoy, from San Francisco and 1, 401 votes for Roxas while Binay got 126 votes. Balitang America affirmed that Los Angeles had not finished the tally of votes, with one precinct still unfinished.

The Pastoral Parish Council for Responsible Voting had reported these unofficial results, as of today, May 11, 2010 at 6:25 pm: Noynoy Aquino got 13,165,152 and Gibo Teodoro and Manny Villar had already conceded to Noynoy as the president-elect of the Philippines. The contest for vice-president is still in contention, separating Jojo Binay from Mar Roxas by only 2%, with Binay at 12,921,315 and Roxas at 12,072,145.

ABS-CBN’s statistical sampling of the precincts showed Binay with 39.4% of the votes, and Roxas with 38.6% of the votes as of May 11,2010 at 4:15 pm. This margin is enough to be tampered with, enough to be tainted by just a few thousands, unless all the votes are counted.

Illustrado, a novel released just before the May 10, 2010 elections, was launched with a big bang and a series of mainstream write-ups in New York Times, Washington Post, CNN, Montreal Daily. Miguel Syjuco, its author, wrote this, with a prescient preview, unrelated to the elections, but, describing the Philippines: “ Life works with the Lord’s benevolence and a generous application of duct tape and Filipino ingenuity. “ Indeed, that is how the elections worked on May 10, 2010, inspite of Smartmatic’s almost unfailing list of blunders, the elections worked because of Divine Intervention, the Filipino teachers’ ingenuity, the poll watchers’ monitoring, the voters’ resilience, and supported by their active guardians of democracy at work and their global prayers.

Democracy works, if its citizens actively work hard to sustain its electoral process to elect leaders worthy of their mandate, and leaders who are capable of representing the people’s will with their own personal traits of honesty, integrity, leadership and moral strength!

Dear Mr. President

2010-05-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

President Barack Obama departing on Air Force One. Photo by Prosy Delacruz.
President Barack Obama at the California Science Center during Barbara Boxer's fundraiser.

( Photo courtesy of Randy Palisoc )

“We are fortunate in our society that a means of resistance has been built into the law and the political process-the vote. The vote is the most powerful nonviolent tool we have in a democracy. We must use our votes, our power, and our organizational abilities to create a movement for good. We must not give up this power. We must not give in. We must not give out. We must use what we have – all our talents, resources, energy, and creativity. We must do all we can to help build a better nation and a better world. “ Congressman John Lewis

Today, as I shook your hand, Mr. President, I caught your genuine broad smile, from the second row of the California Science Center’s Annenberg Building, I caught a glimpse of your soul in your eyes. Eyes that tell us you see us, eyes that tell us we matter, and eyes that tell us that you work hard on our behalf. Eyes that tell us you are determined to secure a future not just for me, as I enter the autumn years of my life, but for my young children, one in graduate school and another working fulltime, both can now breathe easier because of the medical health reform bill that you signed in March 2010. The first day of spring became the first day of change for my family and with health care reform no longer the burdensome struggle that we must carry from our generation to the next.

My Self Like Others. Today, as I shook your hand, I boldy said “ Dream Come True, Mr. President! “ You smiled, looked at me, and moved to shake the hands of the next person. We wanted our very own precious moments with you. They may seem but, glimpses of our president, but priceless as to the journey of how each got here.

Another boldly wanted to show her motorcycle permit, yes, her permit issued by DMV, to show that she too broke out of her shell to go “ Broom, Broom, Broom…” with her hands firmly on the steering handles, as if a metaphor for taking her own future into her own hands in voting a President who she believes in. “ I want the President to know I like how he is making us more respectable in the world again, by having us come back to our compassionate spirit as Americans!” I thought I was alone in that reflection. Oops, I was wrong.

Another described how she just left the hospital, two days still wobbly on her foot, but determined to show her support for you. She asked if I could hold her space in line, while she sat down and rested on the bench. She used to be part of the Clinton Administration, but now no longer with that privilege, she too joined us in line, waiting patiently.

To Randy Palisoc, founder of Synergy Charter Academies, he said: "I couldn't pass up this opportunity to see President Obama in person. You could feel the electricity in the air, and I felt like I was a part of history."

Actually Christine Oshima, a friend of mine, endured her pain, postponed her knee surgery and travelled in crutches, from LAX to DC, as she wanted to see you in person inaugurated. She got to Washington, D.C., walked two miles and found instead, her own inner resolve to overcome challenges. She is now mobile and active, thanks to her determination to see you.

Another described the strength of living with diversity in Los Angeles. She is a retired teacher. She said that in Los Angeles, we find ourselves locked in space with someone different from us, that living here means not about enduring differences, but how to merge with that difference. She used the metaphor of freeways to clarify. She went on to say that in driving the freeways, even if crowded in Los Angeles, we take turns, we make room for others, and we know how to merge.

Her concept of diversity is different from mine, which is inclusivity all at once, as we witness exclusion every step of our journey, every day it seems. Hence for me, it is equal distribution, but for her, as she is a white woman, it is about taking turns, it is about giving way to others, it is sharing the space, just like in Aloha Hawaii. I realized then and there that we all have our own truths, and we need to merge our own truths with others, if our country is to move forward: The truth as you see it, Mr. President, the truth as others see it, and the truth we can all call as ours.

My Journey. For me, it took 3 years to reach this moment. 2 years of working for your campaign took me out of my comfort zone. Yes, out of my comfort zone to reach out to strangers and neighbors in my community and blog about our collective thoughts. It also gave me an inner will to relate to all folks, regardless of backgrounds, even to call independents and conservatives in Nevada or Florida, and have a dialogue on why I am voting for you, Mr. President. At one point, I was considered a heretic in my community because I am voting for you.

When I got more confident as I stood up for why a vote for you, I took it a bit further by going on television and debated a GOP. I may not have convinced him to cross party lines, but at the end of the television segment, he made a promise that he will seek me out and do joint projects because he enjoyed debating the merits and demerits of his beliefs and mine.

What I learned is to confront my truth with theirs ( the GOPs ) and from a personal ability to hold contrasting views, I can move forward to function. I learned from the example you showed us tonight how to handle the heckler, even if limited to few loud voices, where the interruption a mere two minutes, yet the electronic media of Los Angeles captured it as conflict, captured it as increasing dissent to Obama’s policies.

There was no conflict, as you and Sen. Boxer support the repeal of “ Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” If only Channels 4, 5, 11 and 9 took the time to immerse themselves in the lines, they would have heard the stories of journeys, which took folks to love and respect their president, this, they would have heard how you did it with grace.

She’s passionate about fighting for jobs, jobs with good wages, jobs with good benefits. She’s passionate about fighting for California’s families. She is --

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell!”

THE PRESIDENT: We are going to do that. Hey,hold on a second, hold on a second. We are going to do that.

AUDIENCE: Yes, we can! Yes, we can! Yes, we can! Yes, we can!

THE PRESIDENT: Here we go. All right -- guys, guys, all right. I agree, I agree, I agree. (Applause.) Now --

AUDIENCE MEMBER: (Inaudible.)

THE PRESIDENT: No, no, no, no, listen. What the young man was talking about was we need to -- we need to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don't Tell,” which I agree with and which we have begun to do. (Applause.) But let me say this: When you’ve got an ally like Barbara Boxer and you’ve got an ally like me who are standing for the same thing, then you don't know exactly why you’ve got to holler, because we already hear you, all right? (Applause.) I mean, it would have made more sense to holler that at the people who oppose it. (Applause.)

When you’ve got Barbara Boxer, who is passionate to give people all across this state a fair shake, to put the American Dream within reach for all Americans, then what we should be worried about is how are we going to make sure Barbara Boxer gets elected. (Applause.)

And that's mostly what I want to talk about tonight. I am proud of the work we’ve done to bring the world together around a host of problems, from terrorism to the nuclear threat; from climate change to deprivation and poverty around the globe. I was gratified to sign a new START treaty with Russia -- (applause) -- and to host so many world leaders in Washington last week, working in concert to reduce the perilous risk that nuclear materials could fall into the wrong hands.

But reviving our own economy remains the central challenge that we’re facing today. I don’t have to tell you that. This state has been hit as hard as any state in the union with economic troubles these past few years. Jobs have been lost at a heartbreaking level all across this state, and they’ve devastated families and devastated communities.

The housing crisis hit this state with a particular vengeance, driving your friends, your neighbors out of their homes, injecting a sense of fear and financial insecurity into too many people’s lives.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: It’s time for equality for all Americans!

THE PRESIDENT: I’m sorry, do you want to come up here? (Applause.) You know, the -- all right, because can I just say, once again, Barbara and I are supportive of repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” so I don't know why you’re hollering.

Now, the problems that we have here put a further strain on folks in this state, forcing painful choices about where to spend and where to save. And the challenges folks have been facing here --

AUDIENCE MEMBER: (Inaudible.)

AUDIENCE: Yes, we can! Yes, we can! Yes, we can! Yes, we can!

THE PRESIDENT: Barbara -- I just -- everybody, I just wanted to confirm -- I just wanted to confirm -- I just checked with Barbara, so if anybody else is thinking about starting a chant, Barbara didn’t even vote for “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in the first place, so you know she’s going to be in favor of repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” (Applause.)

Now, that is a key issue, but I think putting Californians back to work is also a key issue -- (applause) -- because there are folks, gay and straight, who are out of work right now. (Applause.) And the challenges that are being faced right here in California are facing Americans all across the country.

While in lines, folks displayed proudly what they were wearing, symbols of how hard they worked for you: Woman for Obama pin, Labor for Obama pin, Obama ’08 jersey, Obama 44 t-shirt, First Family 2008 pin, Obama/Biden placard, all to show why they refer to you as “ I love my president! “ One took notice and said, “ He is our President, you know “. She disagreed and said, “ No, I feel he is my president, as this is the first time in a long 8 years of drought under GWB that I can now claim again that the White House resident is my president. So he is my president! “. Her disaffection from government has been replaced with genuine love and affection.

How God held me in His Hands. Last year, a dream of meeting Miss Oprah Winfrey came true for me, courtesy of friends in the community. Reflecting on my luck of seeing Miss Oprah, after dreaming of this for 20 years, I figured that it will take less time to meet my President in person.

So, it came to pass. I wrote down my 2010 dreams, one of which is to meet Mr. President Obama in person. Hence, in the first week of April, when I was invited to buy a seat in Senator Barbara Boxer’s fundraiser, I did not hesitate. I grabbed the opportunity. Of course, unable to pay the high end price, I opted for the low end organizer's price.

What I did not expect were unsolicited acts of kindness: a free cup of coffee from a neighborhood miracle bakery, La Maison Du Pain, to get me going for the day. I call it miracle, for most of the successful community projects are birthed at this bakery, including the successful Obama meetings we held in the sidewalks in front of this site, where folks drove all the way from San Diego, San Gabriel Valley, attracted to the promise of positive synergy, including the greening of an elementary school to host a neighborhood garden of produce.

I went to the “ America I am/African American Imprint “ Exhibit at the California Science Center, which traced the journey of African Americans for the last 500 years, hours before meeting you, Mr. President. I was so overcome with emotions when I entered the “ Doors of No Return “. To see the imprint of 1800s on the wooden doors, which kept, folks in bondage got me crying. I literally could not walk inside the tunnel. An African-American docent accompanied me. He inspired him when he reminded me of W.E. B. Du Bois’ words of wisdom “ There is in this world no such force as the force of a person determined to rise. The human soul cannot be permanently claimed. “

It is that spirit which he told me - that spirit which allowed his ancestors to survive, 12 million out of 16 million slaves, scattered across Americas, never to return home. He reminded me that the spirit of 292 slaves allowed them to endure a confined space in the slave boat, divided in three sections, the left reserved for women, the center for children, and the right corner, men shackled to one another, bound with metal around their necks and ankles and wrists. He reminded me that their spirits allowed them to survive the tight space by assuming the position called “ spooning “, lying on one’s side, their muscles in atrophy, while laying in their own feces and urine. In all, he reminded me, 52,444 slave voyages occurred from 1500s until it ended in 1887.

I could not imagine the inhumanity that your forefathers must have undergone, Mr. President. But, in the same breath, he reminded me that his ancestors had extraordinary fortitude, intestinal gut, fierce courage to say, “ I can, I will, I can do this, I will survive and I am capable. “ Then, we talked about his job, how he became a docent. He told me of being corrected by a hypercritical teacher/mother that to this day, he continues to misspell the same word she corrected him persistently. He said that criticisms, unfounded that is, toxifies the spirit, corrodes it like any.

Mr. President, doesn’t this make you recall how the GOPs are trying their darndest to toxify your spirit? How they hyperscrutinize you as if you are being lynched so as to diminish your inner determination and make you buckle in your knees to withdraw from banking reforms? Hmm….it truly made me recall of what you go through each day when unjustified criticisms come your way.

I asked him how long will the exhibit last. He said he would lose his job by May 2 and he did not know what the future held for him, as the job statistics were daunting. Now, it was my turn to inspire him. I told him "Remember the beginning of the exhibit and how Cornel West and Tavis Smiley were in conversations about what your ancestors endured?"

I told him that his ancestors’ after-life compel him to have a life of magnificence, and nothing short to dignify what they endured during those voyages: “ shackled and trapped in the bowels of a slave, unable to go home again, the captives would now have no choice but to live in the struggle, a fierce, many-sided, never-ending fight to survive, to live of necessity in a new way. “ (Marcus Rediker). Recall how President Barack Obama’s indescribable genius is now personified into profound intelligence in how he tackles all prior problems that remained unresolved? I continued-imagine the health care reform that used to be a generational struggle no longer is our burden, but now a generational duty and a right to pass on to our children? Imagine if in the White House today we did not have a President Barack Obama? Would not our future be so bleak?"

He picked up his steps, and at the end of his presentation on the slave boat, he gave us the exhibit-goers, his own inspiring words. “ I want you not just to remember the horrors of our ancestral past, I saw you overcome with grief while he pointed to me, but I also want you to remember the grit and fortitude it took to withstand the slavery to where we are today, it took unbelievable self-confidence, unbelievable self-worth and unbelievable self-regard. Their after-lives must manifest in your life, if only to honor what they went through to overcome their indignities and journey to freedom in reclaiming their dignities!"

Yes, we became each other’ s keeper of optimism, survival joy that at times, became temporarily derailed by the enormous problems we all face, 14% unemployment in California, 30% in South Central Los Angeles.

But, the best part, the guard at the exhibit gave me her unopened bottled water so that I could get in line, just like others. “ Go, go, they are on their way now “, she said, three hours before the scheduled check-in. And the night before, Mr. President, a blind GOP lawyer friend of mine, awaiting for his federal appointment, called me out of the blue and gave me tips on being myself as I meet my president. He too had his own journey. He met GWB and told him "I would work for you in May 2004." Months later, he did. And now, he awaits his turn to serve you, Mr. President. I believe my blind lawyer/friend is a true patriot, as he puts the NATION’s Interests first before himself, NATION’s interests before party loyalty and from him, absolute optimism is what I learned.

He told me that I already attracted the opportunity to meet you, so it must be in my stars to meet you in person. I was as sure as he was that I would meet you, when I got his unsolicited call. “ Yes, Ollie, it is Ask and it Shall be Given! “ He got excited, “ Tita, you read Esther Hicks’s book? “ Yes, Ollie, I do! "

Mr. President, Ask and It shall be given! The next day, another rare opportunity came up. I was invited to be part of the White House Press Pool to say goodbye to you on Air Force One. I could not sleep at the prospect of meeting you again, Mr. President. I had a few days to turn in a letter from my editor, to validate my press credentials, and it had to be done on Saturday.Luckily for me, my publisher responded and the letter was faxed on time. I got my media permit for Asian Journal and I was listed as part of the White House Press Pool. I was in line along with satellite trucks of Channels 2, 4, 5, 7 and 11 as early as 445am. Soon, there were 20 of us in line, waiting for security check-in and to be LAPD-escorted within 40 feet of Air Force One. I had a direct view of the open door to Air Force One. An added bonus, to take a photo of Air Force One, with the sun rising in the background. It was a great symbol for me, an Easter, a Resurrection of New Values of Care, a New Vision of caring for Others, a renewed Social Contract to care for the next seven generations to come.

Mr. President, these two experiences of seeing you in person have now imprinted me permanently, indelibly etched in my memory to last. Just as I wanted to see you with my own two eyes, I was even more blessed to see you in action with your compassionate heart.

Once I had a dream, and I went after it aggressively to elect a good man to the White House, a man of superior leadership skills, a man of compassionate heart and good spirit. But God had a better Dream for all of us, a vision of hope for our time and a UNITED States of AMERICA, based on a new compassionate spirit, inclusive of others.

Mr. President, thank you for this lifetime of an experience! We see you, and like you, I became truly an American in spirit, in boldness of optimism, in struggle to overcome difficulties and in becoming more wholesome, as you keep showing by your example, as you are our Good Sheperd, leading us in a way to rebuild our economy based not just on social capital, but on social trust, transcending our racialized and segregated past.

May God shower you with His Invisible Grace, that you make VISIBLE through your actions in the White House!

Road to Freedom

2010-05-07T13:17:00.000-07:00

"We are fortunate in our society that a means of resistance has been built into the law and the political process – the vote. The vote is the most powerful nonviolent tool we have in a democracy. We must use our votes, our power and our organizational abilities to create a movement for good. We must not give up this power. We must not give in. We must not give out. We must use what we have—all our talents, resources, energy, and creativity. We must do all we can to help build a better nation and a better world. “ Congressman John Lewis, 2008.

I was 4 when the US civil rights movement started in 1956, and 13 when it ended in 1968. I was in my third year of high school in Manila.

I had long been inspired by Dr. Martin Luther King’s speeches, but, I did not realize the full significance of the civil rights movement in redeeming the soul of America. Not until I saw two exhibits, “Road to Freedom“ and “Breach of Peace“ at the Skirball Cultural Center. I saw the exhibits one cold, dreary weekday, when gray clouds blanketed Los Angeles and rains were pouring non-stop. The weather compelled you to shirk, to hide underneath the blanket. But at the urging of my daughter, I went.

I found myself perusing over more than 170 photographs, taken by more than 35 photographers. The images were moving: policemen hosing down citizens; a hotel owner pouring acid on the swimming pool with black folks wading in; attack dogs pursuing demonstrators kneeling on the sidewalk; a fresh pool of blood next to a man laying down on the sidewalk; police using their batons on folks in a prone position; unarmed boys and women with linked arms, guarded by rifle-armed men; buses that were firebombed with passengers locked inside; and a storm of state troopers breaking up marchers. Many more brutalities were documented for preservation, displaying America’s loss of soul.

Equally moving were photographs depicting hope and a sense of idealism that America’s constitution has yet to be realized: “ life, liberty and pursuit of happiness for everyone." America brutally reflected on those images had another side to it, an aspiration contained in the Bill of Rights that all men are equal, but deeply buried in its soul.

More images move me to tears: linked arms of men in their coats braving the rain and snow; women holding hands with men clad in their overalls; young black faces singing with tears in their eyes, afraid yet defiant of injustice; marchers standing tall while being given a two-minute warning by state troopers, yet not cowering in fear; a woman kneeling on the sidewalk, dressed in her Sunday suit, pearl earrings, a hat and an umbrella; a poster demanding freedom, and hovering is a white police officer inside a black police van. Images of lynching or killings were not there, nor corpses, but the audio recordings of the marches were enough to move us to tears -- myself, along with exhibit goers composed of young students, teachers, young professionals and older folks lingering, reading captions, listening to Dr. Martin Luther King’s speeches.

A short documentary depicted Rabbi Rachel Cowen speaking of the civil rights movement as “ a religion, a secular creed, a community, with values, its liturgy, its rituals, part of a larger narrative, with its high ideals that the world can improve, love would conquer, it would triumph."

Dorothy Zellner spoke of her conviction, that when you see such inhumanity, there is a moral imperative to go “ thou shalt not stand idly by “. Half of the white attorneys working in the South were Jews who felt a kinship with the injustice happening to blacks. Rabbi Prinz shared a “ sense of complete identification and solidarity born of their painful experience." This mattered to him to take a stand. Will he allow these state troopers to kill in his name?

These were the dilemmas that they faced, dilemmas that are not unlike ours, especially with the choices we have to make for the upcoming Philippine national elections.

When I was part of a panel on clean elections at an EDSA I commemoration forum a few days ago, I spoke of three traits of good citizenship: loyalty, teamwork and social responsibility.

Loyalty
I spoke of loyalty to the ideals of People Power I, when we as a people, advocated for the return of democracy and an end to the dictatorship in the Philippines. Collective aspirations for decades were crystallized in 3 days through non-stop rallies, where millions converged in EDSA to say no to dictatorship, guns, battalions,tanks and violence; and yes to rosaries, flowers, lumpia and pancit, and yes to freedom.

Friends spoke of their convictions, their willingness to make the ultimate sacrifice: their lives in EDSA in exchange for freedom. They have reached an ultimate tipping point -- we want to be free!

Teamwork
When we are free, we can choose good actions.
Thich Nhat Hanh said "Freedom is not given to us by anyone; we have to cultivate it ourselves. It is a daily practice… No one can prevent you from being aware of each step you take or each breath in and breath out."

When we choose teamwork as a life’s ethic, we learn to harvest what Fr. Rodel Balagtas called “harvesting God’s nuggets of grace," when we become our kababayans’ source of strength, our folks’ source of unconditional support.

Try it, start looking for strengths in others. Cultivate it, and connect with folks to help them reach their dreams. Without realizing it, you have created a safety net, a firewall of goodness, a sense of security that wherever you go, God’s family is wide. Drive that goodness forward during the upcoming elections.

Social responsibility
Consider our choices this election. If you are a dual citizen, ask yourself: can I cast my vote for the highest common good? Which candidate did not resort tovotebuying? Check, and steer away from the candidate who significantly destroys the sanctity of democracy and mocks the electoral process.

Who has served the Philippines with honesty and integrity? Steer away from those who compromise themselves, while in public office.

Who is that candidate, who, even when faced with the barrel of a gun, chooses goodness over evil?

Who is the candidate who can pray to God and say, “ Lord, thank You for guiding me to choose You, to not lose my soul in all that I do.”

Choose, my readers, and let us vote for the presidential candidate who will redeem the soul of the Philippines, so we may no longer be at the top 20 corrupt countries of the world!

I believe that the May 2010 elections will be a transformative event that will redeem our collective souls, to uphold the sanctity of democracy, and become heroes of the world that we can all look up to, just like Efren Penaflorida, Charice Pempengco, and Chief Justice Reynato S. Puno of the Supreme Court of the Philippines who will receive the prestigious Elise and Walter Haas Award at UC Berkeley this coming May 16, 2010.

We are the heroes we are waiting for, we can elect a president who will stand up for our collective values and who will preserve the democracy as envisioned by our founders.

Ask and it Shall be Given: Dream Big to be on Oprah!

2010-05-06T14:45:00.000-07:00

Miguel Syjuco holding his first novel, Illustrado, opening to rave reviews, including Wash. Post today. Yesterday, I shot his photo when he launched his novel in Los Angeles.
Los Angeles Public Library's Tower, reflected across the glass veneered building.
Me and the author...yes, I am dreaming big to see him on Oprah. I was not paid to dream, my heart wants to write about this big dream, so here it is!
Last November, I saw Oprah Winfrey and Lee Daniels, when Precious was premiered in Los Angeles. This year, I saw my President, yes my President Barack Obama and shook his hands. So, I figured two big dreams coming true is really a good average...and now this big dream of coming on Oprah to see her interview Miguel and to watch Charice, Arnel too.

Seeing my President Obama depart in Air Force One after Senator Barbara Boxer's fundraiser.

Mona Pasquil, Acting Lt. Governor of California and Tia Carrere, at TVM ( The Vagina Monologues) directed by Ted Benito.

___________________________________________________________________

" When you ask for guidance and assistance, simply assume that it immediately is pouring forward. You may need to have lunch, or drive into town or do whatever it is that you need to do in order to relax your mind to hear or to feel, but live in the total assumption that the moment that you ask for guidance it is pouring in. " Gary Zukav

Gary Zukav became one of the first spiritual coaches to me, after seeing him on Oprah, shortly after my father, Eleazar Abarquez died on April 24, 2000. I was overwhelmed with grief with his passing, including recent passings of a good friend and mentor, NVM Gonzalez. With their passings, my grief almost made me non-functional, until I saw Gary Zukav talk about " we are souls, temporarily loaned to live on earth ". Those were not his exact words, but the essence caught me as it made me feel like my Dad's spirit is with me always, as NVM's. Indeed their spirits today still guide me in many ways.

I learned a concept of dreaming big, watching a lot of Oprah and from my father's life example. To be orphaned at a young age and retire as the Supervising Inspector for the Dept. of Labor of the Philippines tells me aloud that my father transcended his personal obstacles.

Yes, I am an unabashed, unapologetic fan of Oprah, for 2 decades and a half now. 25 years! I watched every episode, including staying up at midnight to watch afternoon shows rerun in the evening.

It was my sleeping pill, yes, a natural high watching Oprah solve life's most potent, gruesome issues, probing with depth, with sensitivity, with compassion. It is her empathy and kindness to all guests that win folks over and over.

It was my compassion barometer, how to extend myself to others, while leaving more than crumbs for myself and a substantive amount to care for others. It allowed me to have some emotional distance, while having some emotional sensitivity and empathy! Oprah showed us how on television.

But, today, I am dreaming big. It is my dream to see a multi-awarded, literary sophisticated novelist who happens to be Filipino, Miguel Syjuco featured on Oprah. Miguel achieved what most Filipino Americans dream of, to be picked up by a major publisher, to be reviewed by Washington Post and to be treated to a worldwide tour as an author launches his book, a birthing that took years in the making, including respectable degrees: a Ph.D. in creative writing. When Miguel paid homage to NVM Gonzalez last night, " Without NVM, I would not be here today. He published my first work. He was the first person who believed in me ", I knew why instinctively I have been helping do outreach for his book. It was as if NVM's spirit was moving me to do this work for Miguel.

As soon as Miguel said what he said about NVM, it resonated with me. For it was NVM who encouraged me to write. I told him I was not a writer. He did not push it. But one day, I was fuming in the mouth. He did not stop me from sharing. He allowed me unbridled listening space. Then, he said, " Would you like to put all those feelings in an essay? " I was bewildered. I thought I was just whining. He asked me to write double-spaced, 15 pages and to go do my research. To start me with my research, he handed me Lucilla Hosillos' book on culture. Then, with a smile he said " May I offer a title to this essay? " He paused, waited. " Yes, of course, NVM. " This was his title " The Man in the Outhouse: When Western Civilization silenced the Filipino Imagination. " The essay saw the light, it was published by Amerasia Journal of UCLA.

My dad is gone. NVM is gone. But here I am writing for four years now, two for Asian Journal. I am even blogging. And for my dream...it is about seeing Miguel interviewed by Oprah. Who knows she might even choose his book as Oprah's book club selection. Imagine that! Yes, wrap our heads on this dream of seeing one of our own become a book club selection author being interviewed by Oprah. Writing this gives me goosebumps! It even makes me teary-eyed that I am writing this.

And while I am dreaming big, and it is free, I want to be as expansive as I can make it. I want to see not just Miguel, I would like to see the winner of Iron Chef contest, Executive Chef Cristeta Comerford be part of the audience, while she listens to Charice, Arnel Pineda singing their tonal frequencies of sterling voices as intermission numbers, accompanied by the Paolos, while Miguel does his evocative readings of corrupt politics, heroism, history, travelogue and a rare, honest, microscopic examination of how the corrupt and corrupting elite of the Philippines have mocked and stunted the growth of our island nation from evolving to its potential greatness. Why not also have Tia Carrere serenade Oprah with one of her Aloha lullabies?

I also would like to see First Lady of the United States Michelle Obama be part of the audience, after all she is reviving our love of books, organic farming, and really good food from good produce. Would you not want to see Cristeta do her sweet potato meringue tart for all the audience attending this book interview with Oprah? And while I am actually dreaming, I might as well include myself as part of the audience.

Wow, what a lifetime of joy to realize this such a big dream, and while at it, Divine Power, throw in the President of the United States as well!! Someone who reads this swears I have gone mad! Yes, I have gone mad, crazy to dream big for our artists: culinary, performance, visual, literary. They are worth every word of blogging! Just blogging makes me giddy and so enthusiastic about life! Yes, life is beautiful and soon, it would be more, once we all live to realize our fullest human potentials! Would you please help us get there, Divine Partner?

In the presence of greatness: First Person

2010-05-06T14:39:00.000-07:00

FIRST PERSON

In the presence of greatness

Dear President Obama,

Today, as I shook your hand, as I caught your genuine broad smile, from the second row of the California Science Center’s Annenberg Building, I caught a glimpse of your soul in your eyes. Eyes that tell us you see us, eyes that tell us we matter, and eyes that tell us that you work hard on our behalf.

Today, as I shook your hand, I boldly said “ Dream come true, Mr. President! “ You smiled, looked at me, and moved to shake the hands of others. We all wanted our very own precious moment with you.

The first day of spring became the first day of change for my family and with health care reform no longer the burdensome struggle that we must carry from our generation to the next.

It took three long years for me to reach this moment. Two years of working for your campaign took me out of my comfort zone. Yes, out of my comfort zone to reach out to strangers and neighbors in my community and blog about our collective thoughts. It also gave me the inner will that I can relate to all folks, regardless of backgrounds, even to call independents and conservatives in Nevada or Florida and have a dialogue on why I am voting for Barack Obama.

When I got more confident as I did that, I took my skill a bit further in going on television in debating another GOP to vote for you. I may not have convinced him to cross party lines, but at the end of the television segment, he made a promise that he will seek me out and we will do joint projects in the future because he enjoyed being respected as we debated the merits and demerits of his beliefs and mine.

What I learned is to confront my truth with theirs, and from the ability to hold contrasting views, move forward to function. I learned from the example you showed us tonight how to handle the heckler.

Last year, a dream of meeting Miss Oprah Winfrey came true for me, courtesy of friends in the community. With that fortune of seeing her after 20 years of dreaming to meet her in person, this time, I figured, having a chance to meet my President in person should be sooner.

So, it came to pass. I wrote my dreams for the year 2010. One of which included meeting you, Mr. President. In the first week of April, I was invited to buy a seat in Senator Barbara Boxer’s fundraiser. I grabbed the opportunity.

Your indescribable genius is now personified into profound intelligence. Imagine the health care reform -- which used to be a generational struggle -- is no longer our burden, but a generational duty and a right that we can pass on to our children.

Mr. President, ask and It shall be given! Another rare opportunity came up. I was invited to be part of the White House Press Pool to say goodbye to my President on Air Force One. I could not sleep at the prospect of meeting you again, Mr. President.

Luckily, I was listed as part of the White House Press Pool. I was in line along with satellite trucks of Channels 2, 4, 5, 7 and 11. Soon, there were 20 of us in line, as early as 445am, waiting for security check-in and to be LAPD-escorted within 40 feet of Air Force One. I had a direct view of the open door to Air Force One. An added bonus, to take a photo of Air Force One, with the sun rising in the background. It was a great symbol for me, an Easter, a Resurrection of New Values of Care, a New Vision of caring for Others, a renewed Social Contract to care for the next seven generations to come.

Once I had a dream, and I went after it aggressively to elect a good man to the White House, a man of superior leadership skills, a man of compassionate heart and good spirit.

But God had a better Dream for all of us, a vision of hope for our time and a UNITED States of AMERICA, based on a new compassionate spirit, inclusive of others.

Mr. President, thank you for this lifetime of an experience! We see you. Like you, I became truly an American in spirit, in boldness of optimism, in struggle to overcome difficulties and in becoming more wholesome, as you keep showing by your example, as you become our Good Shepherd in leading us a way to rebuild our economy based not just on social capital, but on social trust, transcending our divided past.

Like one teacher/organizer said, Mr. President, we are learning to take turns, we are learning how to merge! May God shower you with His Invisible Grace, that you make VISIBLE through your actions in the White House!

Finding Peace!

2010-05-06T14:29:00.000-07:00

“Peace is not the product of terror or fear. Peace is not the silence of cemeteries. Peace is not the silent result of violent repression. Peace is the generous, tranquil contribution of all to the good of all. Peace is dynamism. Peace is generosity. It is right and it is duty.” Bishop Oscar Romero

My father, Eleazar Abarquez died on April 24, 2000.

But it was only three years later after his death, when I found out that he lost three family members (his parents and a brother) during WW II.

My fraternal grandparents, who were both Filipino soldiers, were lured into the woods to look for their missing son. Apparently, it was a trap and they were killed by the Japanese Imperial Army. The pastor of Vigan Church refused to bury them, fearing retaliation. It was my father’s vigorous advocacy and perseverance which enabled him to provide his parents a decent and dignified Christian burial.

Orphaned at a young age, my father moved to Manila. Instead of despairing over the loss of his parents, he nurtured hope and resorted to education as his way out of poverty.

He would walk, barefoot for miles, to get to school and back. Sometimes he had food, other times he had to endure hunger. He persisted, until his law degree was interrupted by an early marriage, when he met the love of his life, Asuncion. Theirs became a bond of love, which defied all sorts of financial odds, and they both managed to build a home for five girls: Rose, Prosy, Sion, Rachel and Nimfa. He became a labor inspector, tasked with enforcing the labor codes of the Philippines. My mother was a science and math teacher in a public school. But, their dreams were larger than what their careers offered, so my mother took the initiative to immigrate first with my eldest sister, Rose to Los Angeles, and then, the rest of the us joined them.

My father was tasked with selling our wares --the car, the house and lot. Months before martial law was imposed, he got a promotion to become the Southern Regional Administrator, appointed by then Director of Labor Blas Ople. He was faced with his own dilemma, to pursue his career and be away from his family or to be reunited with them and start anew.

Peace is generosity

Choosing new beginnings, he got a job as a counselor at the Veterans Counseling Center in Los Angeles. He counseled Vietnam veterans and as he did his work, he found healing from his loss. After retiring from his job as a counselor, he became a primary caregiver to his grandchildren born in America -- Jennifer, Brian, Michael, Paul, Jason, and Jessica. He would pick them up from school, cook their dinners and supervise their homework. Even with persistent arthritis, he endured physical pain to care for them. Because of his efforts, Jessica wrote a tribute poem for him about his daily heroic deeds.

From my father, I learned a code of conduct -- contributing for the good of all and serving others before myself. At Christmas, my father would give generously to Catholic nuns who came to our house in the Philippines, to sing Christmas carols. Even if it meant giving away his last cent, he provided for them and also for the medical needs of relatives. At times, I heard my mom complain about their limited government salaries in the Philippines, and that he should limit the giving away our resources. But, my dad believed that God provides, and he remained generous to every sampaguita vendor or beggar that we would come across when our car was stalled in Manila traffic.

It was from my father, Eleazar that I learned acceptance of what life hands to you. Instead of negativity, he taught me to transcend challenges by being generous. My reward is that precious blessing of peace in one’s heart. Year after year, I watched him give away what little he had. And it seemed that he never ran out of blessings to share. The biggest beneficiaries, of course, were his children. He would provide for me at all times and 'til now, long after he's gone, he still continues to do so.

Peace is not the product of terror or fear

I met someone who was a dead ringer for my dad. I thought for a brief moment that my father was alive when I was introduced to Senator Daniel Inouye at a UCLA event.

Allow me to share briefly, the bravery of Senator Dan Inouye. He was the first successful senator to have accomplished for our Filipino WW II veterans, a provision in H.R. 1, the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 (Public Law 111-5), signed by President Barack Obama, which provides 18,000 living Filipino WW II veterans, a one-time payment of $15,000 to American citizens of Filipino descent and $9,000 to Filipino veterans of WW II who are non-citizens -- a total of $198 million.

I was listening to an audio recording at the Smithsonian’s exhibit called Price of Freedom in Washington, DC where Senator Dan Inouye’s bravery. It was likewise reported by Robert Asahina in “Just Americans: The Story of the 100^th Battalion/442^nd Regimental Combat Team in World War II.“

"And later he found out he had been shot in the stomach, but he kept climbing up the hill. A machine gun nest was firing at him. He threw a grenade, knocked out that machine gun nest, another machine gun nest opened up on him. A German soldier stood up with a grenade launcher, launched a grenade straight at Inouye.

Inouye was carrying a live grenade in his right hand when the German grenade hit him, nearly severing his right arm. [Inouye] grabbed the live grenade out of his right hand with his left hand, threw it into the machine gun nest, blew up that machine gun nest, fell to the ground, crawled up the ground, then got hit a third time by another rifleman before he was knocked out.

For four days and nights they fought their way through these very dense mountains," says Asahina, who has visited the site. "The canopy is so dense that when you are in there in the middle of the day, it's dark. And they were fighting there in the dark, climbing hills with the Germans firing down on them. It was one of the most heroic battles of the French campaign."

Peace is the generous, tranquil contribution for the good of all

Recall the internment of over 120,000 Japanese Americans, 65% of whom were American citizens, that was made possible by Executive Order 4066, signed by President Franklin Roosevelt, after WW II was declared? While in camp, they lived in barracks, that were 20 x 120 ft, divided into 4-6 tiny apartments, with sheet rock walls, sometimes covered, sometimes not, with tar paper on the roof. These wood shacks had gaps on the walls and on the floors, allowing heat and blistering cold to come in. They had common bathrooms that they had to walk to, traversing the mud with their wooden sandals. In some parts of the West Coast, they were housed in barns where horses were kept.

Yet, these interned Japanese -Americans taught their families acceptance and a code of behavior, called shushin, giving their lives in camp a sense of dignity.

They recognized that shushin, which is about perseverance, hard work and respect for authority, can now be their code of behavior to pass on. Instead of bitterness, they passed on giri, a strong sense of duty or obligation to others; on, a profound obligation to family, especially parents, a generational duty to do good to others, to look after generations to come. From this collective decision, they served others before themselves.

Instead of anger, the value of gaman, which means to endure adversity and to persevere, was taught by example. At times, it felt like they were passive, but while in camps, they taught their children watercolor paintings. The art of woodmaking was passed on. Even games of baseball were played. Dances and songs were taught. They centered on arts, spirituality and cultural values in the camps.

Later, these cultural values of gaman and giri empowered the succeeding generations of Japanese – Americans -- it is their way of remembering the sacrifices of their ancestors, and pursuing their fair share and seats at the decision-making table -- not for themselves, but for the next generations. Hence, it marked the birth of the Japanese American National Museum that is mostly funded by federal funds, army financial resources, and private donations.

At the Japanese American Museum in Little Tokyo, I saw desert sand of various colors that are encased in acrylic boxes, with artifacts such as boots, sandals, books, accessories of clothing, etc. With one’ s imagination, one might relive what the Issei (the first generation Japanese – Americans) experienced -- harsh conditions that moved Pres. George H.W. Bush to say, “ No nation can fully understand itself or find its place in the world if it does not look with clear eyes all the glories and the disgraces of its past. We in the United States acknowledge such an injustice in our history. The internment of the Americans of Japanese ancestry was a grave injustice, and it will never be repeated."

Yet, with all these injustices the Japanese-Americans faced in internment camps, they were the most decorated batallion that fought in World War II. Daniel Inouye became one of the most decorated WW II hero, now a US Senator. The 442^nd combat unit garnered over 18,000 individual decorations for bravery, 9,500 Purple Hearts for casualties, and seven Presidential Distinguished Unit citations.

The community has, since that period of internment, worked for decades to achieve redress and reparation, just like how the Filipino Veterans struggled for equity. It was a movement made up of cumulative depths and levels of contributions, including solidarity campaigns from many sectors. It led to the Civil Liberties Act of 1988, authored by Senator Inouye, authorizing redress payments to “surviving internees, and which created a public education fund to ensure that similar violations of civil liberties will not be repeated against any other group based on race, religion or national origin.”

As for the interned Japanese – Americans, David Mas Matsumoto wrote “ We live with ghosts or spirits all around us, they are a sense of history that bonds all of us. Culture is alive and evolving. The facts are not as important as the process of change and acceptance…..For we too are simply ordinary people with a universe passing by us and through us."

I was fortunate to have met all these men, my father who raised me and taught me the value of generosity; Senator Daniel Inouye who taught me the value of bravery and courage and David Mas Matsumoto who taught me the value of culture and community. In them, I am grateful most--grateful for being life examples which speak loudly of peace!

Finding Grace in Disgrace!

2010-05-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

“It is the mystery that the heart, which is the center of the being, is transformed by God into his own heart, a heart large enough to embrace the entire universe. Through prayer we can carry in our heart all human pain and sorrow, all conflicts and agonies, all torture and war, all hunger, all loneliness, and misery, not because of some greater psychological or emotional capacity, but because God’s heart has become one with ours.” - Henri J.M. Nouwen

I got involved in organizing a public event recently. Here, opinions clashed and differed within the group.

A scriptwriter wrote a one-act play about an immigrant who lambasts Filipinos in the Philippines, regarding them as "undisciplined and without compassion for their own birthplace." To me, it was a put-down for our kababayans, and it made the scriptwriter seem distant, disconnected and detached from his own kind. From this negative perspective, he endeavors to create a new way to connect to his heritage -- by doing a political satire.

It seemed disgraceful to allow the public release of such a satirical presentation to immigrants, as if the organizers did not know better.

However, others seem to perceive this sense of self-deprecation as amusing, even considering it as an art form.

An opportunity to educate

I was labeled as, perhaps, censoring ala Marcos -- arrogant and unable to appreciate art. I had not experienced this shotgun firing of negativity in a long time: reading written toxic words, one after the other on the internet.

I felt bad being compared to Marcos, especially since it came from a good friend. To be compared to a dictator sounded so disgraceful.

After all, we were simply having a discussion about a satirical script. I asked myself, “How many folks did I assassinate to be compared to the likes of Marcos? “

I reflected. While I felt like being emotionally flogged and spiritually battered, I stuck to my pledge of not having ANTS -- automatic negative thoughts. I remembered Fr. Rodel’s words, “We are sacraments, we make visible God’s invisible grace.

I prayed. I waited. I asked for guidance in writing my response. I decided to stay optimistic. It was my political act.

I grabbed the opportunity to turn this into a “ teachable and educational moment.“ I shared my perspective and knowledge about immigrants.

Like me, immigrants hold down jobs to support themselves. We go to church on Sundays to seek refuge from work -- a place where our true worth is unrecognize and where we feel victimized daily by racism. We attend Sunday Mass to feel God’s presence and to be reminded that we, too, are God’s children and that we are grace!

Grace in the sense that we are endowed with personal strengths -- our own set of skills, talents and knowledge. At times, we forget about our own strengths. Adjusting to life in America can be difficult, unless we realize that we are endowed and that God is our unconditionally loving Universal Partner.

I felt that this political satire only added to our daily burdens and struggles. It was not a question of censorship -- it was about being sensitive to the audience. Being creative does not necessarily mean being disrespectful.

I found that the planning group was in need of a good leadership. The profile that was given to the scriptwriter was not based on surveys, nor a crude form of research. It was solely based on assumptions and as a result, the scriptwriter was misguided.

Fortunately, at the next meeting, the poorly written political satire was deemed inappropriate. It did not have what the audience sought for -- spiritual refuge and guidance instead of mere entertainment.

Because of this, the organizers shelved the satire’s premiere. Only when it has been revised to reflect more emotional maturity and a higher regard for the struggles of Filipino-Americans may it , perhaps, be utilized for a fundraiser in the future.

Past behavior need not be the present

In the past, when someone called me names, I reacted with virulence. This time, I felt inner peace and I was determined not to let go of it for someone who I only came to know because of a handful of negative emails.

As for my friend, I forgave her harsh comparison of me with Marcos. I thought that, perhaps, her judgment is clouded because of her hectic schedule and many travels.

I had always considered her as my grace -- a spiritual coach.

This time, I can respond in kind.

How to be grace

I wasn't sure if I could maintain this sense of understanding, this moment of transcendental grace. But I was being pulled by an inner voice and I recalled Fr. Rodel’s words, “ We are sacraments, we make visible God’s invisible grace.“

During the week, two missionaries knocked at my door. They were young men, dressed in white shirts -- one was blonde and blue-eyed, the other had brown hair and brown eyes.

I told them that I, too, am a missionary for Immaculate Heart of Mary Church. We had a dialogue. It went something like this:

Missionaries: “ Where is your church?”

Prosy: Immaculate Heart of Mary Church in Santa Monica Blvd. and Alexandria.

Missionaries: What is their teaching or principles that we can take with us?

Prosy: That we are all God’s sacraments, we make visible God’s invisible grace. That we all have one God.”

Missionaries: How is it then if we have one God, we have no one version of God?

Prosy: Have you seen the flowers, are they the same? Have you seen the birds, the animals, fishes?

Have you seen the mountains, the valleys, the rivers? They are not the same. And you know why? Because God loves DIVERSITY! “

I believe that grace is achieved when one recognizes diversity, when one embraces it in its full magnificence. And embrace it even when one seems to perceive disgrace or lack of magnificence.

That became my revelation for the week. Thanks to the IHMC spiritual retreat, I had a better understanding of how grace and disgrace intersect, how one can be transcended to bring out the other.

Hence, when I am confronted with a perceived disgrace, I have to use that particular moment to teach about GRACE.

It is not about merely accepting disgrace or injustice -- it is about standing up to it in order to achieve grace. And in doing so, you exude respect and dignity, not only for yourself but also for others.

Wildflowers at the Top

2010-04-15T00:25:00.000-07:00

The blooming wildflowers at a nearby garden, miles from this canyon. I loved the color combinations.
Pink flowers in bloom in an adjoining garden on the way to the canyon.
The walk uphill towards the peak of the canyon.

"People suffer because they are caught in their views. As soon as we release those views, we are free and we don't suffer anymore." Thich Nhat Hanh

I was not willing to move my body with ease before. Instead, I told myself “ I can’t breathe “, “ it is too dangerous “, “ it is raining “, “ it is cold “. Until I released myself from these imprisoning thoughts, thoughts that limited me in my movements, I could not enjoy the company of my family members who are more fit than I am. So, I decided to rid myself of these thoughts, one at a time.

“ I can’t breathe “ became a true reality for me when asthma, flu and allergies converge all at the same time and under humid conditions in the Visayas, I was without any recourse. I decided to say to myself, “ yes, you will breathe “, “ yes, you will live “ and “ yes, you will have a better quality of life “. Not even the oxygen tank that I was hooked up to, nor the IV tube I was connected, nor the nebulizer of antibiotics could help me. All external reliefs did not help.

So, I envisioned how life would be if I could breathe. It became truly a metaphor for me to let God in, to live life as it comes. To allow only what is right, to allow what feels right. It also meant I had to articulate what would irritate me in a more diplomatic manner. For example

“ You are so beautiful, but right now, your behavior is less than beautiful, it does not match the beauty I see outside. “ It allowed me to be a much gentler guide without the corrosive effects of a critic. “ And, with that, my relationships with folks improved. I actually had to turn down social events not because I did not want to go, but I had more writing assignments to finish.

“ It is too dangerous “ was a cover for not experiencing life fully. My husband and I went up the canyon one Saturday. It was not raining when we started the walk uphill. Just gray clouds forming. Then, it started to drizzle. Usually, I would tell him that it is time to go. Instead, I relaxed into the rains and cherished every drop. I remembered what Fr. Rodel’s homily was “ Embrace Our Galilees and Jerusalems “. I got to the top of the canyon and I caught up with my husband. He guided me that just beyond, a bit more uphill, is a beautiful view, and that we could go down the stairs. It was shorter, he said.

Normally, I would resist. But, the voice of “ embracing our galilees “ got louder. It was raining but not enough to block the view at the top. It was so beautiful, to be surrounded by yellow wildflowers on the west, the mountains in the north, the downtown skyscrapers in the east, and a view of the ridge behind me. It was so beautiful that I felt God was surrounding us in all His majesty. Then, it was time to go downhill.

“ It is too cold “ is a usual refrain, until I met Jason who told me that “ there is no such thing as cold weather. It is simply about wearing the right clothing. “ It was in a trip back east that I learned what to wear and how to deal with the cold. My nephew, Justin is a track field athlete, he runs in the cold, he runs in the rains, he runs in the hot, he runs regardless. So I asked him what keeps him comfortable in the cold. And the magic word came out “ Under Armour “ , a technical clothing made of special fabric combinations: 82% cationic polyester and 18% elastane. Regardless of how cold it is, it keeps you warm and comfortable. Thanks to Jason and Justine, I solved “ being cold “ while outdoors. It does not matter if it is rainy cold or not, I am out there walking.

As I went downhill, a steep downhill where one has to watch each step, a focus like no other, a coordination that has to be conscious and my dear husband held my hand all the way down. He coached me to take side steps, walking down first and guiding me on how to navigate the steep terrain. Midway downhill, a thin Caucasian woman with long hair offered me unsolicited advice “ Do not go downhill. It is steep. I cannot handle it myself, I just walk uphill.” For emphasis, she added, “ It is dangerous. “ My husband waited for me to act. Respectfully, he did not say much, he did not say ignore, or hogwash. He simply was quiet. I decided to simply proceed. I decided to not even consider the negative thoughts, for she merely verbalized what I am struggling to remove from within.

This is when I remembered what Oprah said one time on television: “ Be careful when you decide to move away from something negative. The Universe will test you to see if you are serious. “ I was serious. So, I ignored what the well-meaning woman offered to me. While she cared for my safety, she did not know that I was undergoing a process of ending my inner struggle with myself. “ Embrace my Galilees! “, as Fr. Rodel said in a homily.

When we got down, it was a dual victory for me: trusting my husband to be my exercise coach and allowing the weather to be enjoyed, as God’s gift, to be enjoyed no matter what. No falls, no bruises.

And a bonus win, it got us to be playmates! All because I decided no more negative thoughts, embrace my Galilees as they come. I am sure I can overcome each time, whether as a win or not, but I know for sure that I know now how to enjoy the process of living or simply living!

Today is my 13^th day of exercising, another 82 days to make it a habit. I keep at it. In the process, I am learning to release my views, those that cause me to suffer, those that keep me disconnected from all things beautiful, and the ultimate one, God Almighty! I learned to trust more! It became easier for me, feeling like Someone Up There is always looking after me! My sacrifice this Lent, you guessed it – it is giving up my negative thoughts so I can serve God and humanity better!

Mother, directed by Bong Joon Ho, a Film Review!

2010-03-30T13:42:00.001-07:00

“Every perceptive adult knows he is part beast and part saint, a mixture of folly and reason, love and hate, courage and cowardice. He can be at the same time believer and doubter, idealist and skeptic, altruistic citizen and selfish hedonist. The coexistence of these conflicting traits naturally causes tension but is nevertheless compatible with sanity.“
- Rene Dubos

I first saw Mother at the Bing Theater of the Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA) on December 2009. The film viewing was as part of a series: Everything is a Mystery: Bong Joon Ho.

Mother’s love into obsession
Bong Joon – Ho’s film creation, Mother, haunts me. I could not forget the main character, Hye-Ja (portrayed by actress Kim Hye-ja, a five-decade seasoned artist of Korean film and television), a single mom to 27-year-old Do-Joon, whose emotions were mysteriously and effectively conveyed as a duality in the film.

In one scene, she is portrayed as a nurturing mother feeding her son, and in another, a servant-mom with no boundaries, feeding her son a bowl of liquid ginseng to increase his virility, while his son urinates on a public wall. To an outsider who's looking into Korean culture, this may feel offensive and crudely borders on voyeurism and perhaps, even hints on perversion and incest. This was our first introduction into the film’s mentally retarded character, Do-Joon.

Four themes occupied me while viewing it: the extent of love of a mother to her son, the politics of remembering and excavating memories, the isolation and seclusion of mentally-retarded folks, while going through society’s incarcerating institutions and the corrupting wheels of justice in a developing society.

An invigorated audience asked questions after the film screening. It seemed like a seminar at UCLA, but with art aficionados and movie-goers of Los Angeles, familiar with Bong Joon-Ho’s works. Twelve questions were raised.

One of the questions raised was why miscarriages of justice and mental retardation were recurring themes in his films. Bong Joon-Ho responded that ‘losers, (branded as disposables by society) fascinated him because they had their own stories to tell.

Do-Joon had a story to tell. Falsely accused and imprisoned for murder (for which the film managed to create a maze of possibilities as to who may have done it,) Do Joon regains part of his sanity.

And without doubt, his mother, her love for her son gets her to this point of wellness, as she ventures to places she has not travelled before, including engaging the social elite.

Overweening elite
The so-called social elite could not make Bong Joon-Ho write about them nor occupy his attention, he told us. No wonder lawyers, professors, CEOs, policemen and the so-called guardians of social institutions held themselves unaccountable to the rule of law -- leaving hit-and-run accidents unpunished, drinking in excess, being lazy in making investigations and law enforcement and concocting unreasonable judicial settlements in order to close criminal and civil cases.

A broken car mirror for a broken limb. Case closed. A frame up of another mentally retarded without a mom caring for him traded for a simpleton with a mom pursuing investigative work to get justice. A trade of lives that are socially irrelevant, those without family ties and without guilt are incarcerated anyway, and the killer is free to do more bloody trails.

Peculiar incapacities
When a society grows even with such injustices, social trust is broken, common goals for the common good are not pursued, as individuals can no longer rely on their social institutions. Why? Instead of promoting the rule of law, they become instruments of suppressing the truth and doing more acts of injustice.

The grave becomes depraved -- the hanging of a dead body in the town plaza for the whole town to see. It gives a glimpse of how irrationality and mental illnesses are spawned, one tries to find sanity in an insane situation. Rationality is lost when truth is hidden.

To this day, Bong Joon-Ho shared that the “monster –killer “ from which this film was based on, is still on the loose, and justice and punishment for his crime has not been done.

Instead of portraying this past killing based on darkness that his country experienced, he created a film that is based on mother’s love, but gone awry to protect her son.

Sparse in dialogue, the film is still effective with its imagery -- Hye-Ja's actions are replete with a litany of emotions:disgust, fear, dogged determination, courage and ingenuity. A once-secluded in life existence takes her to the school campus, to cafes, to places she has never been before.

If it were not for its murder thriller theme, the film could have been an inspiring movie for older women who are in search of a new identity in the fall and winter seasons of life.

Hye-Ja's pursuit of justice for her son brings new discoveries as she connects with more people. Obsessed, she comes out of her shell and acts decisively. A true feminist in the making, if you ask me.

Politics of remembering
Memories are put to the test, both for Hye-Ja and Do-Joon -- a struggle especially for the mentally-challenged Do-Joon. However, Do-Joon's recollections reveal the unexpected with clarity -- a memory of his mother trying to poison him when he was five surfaces.

She resorts to acupuncture to erase memories of what she does not want to remember, so she can be a free spirit once more: dancing in the prairie, amongst the wildflowers. An enchanting film, but for the darkness which can be haunting, but in any person, the balance of light and darkness exists and it is up to each one of us to nurture the triumph of light over dark! Truth hurts but concealing it can disintegrate a person even more so.

Mother premiered in Los Angeles on Friday, March 12. Watch it and be mesmerized by the mysteries of Bong Joon Ho’s film!

Open Letter of Thank you to Our President Barack Obama!

2010-03-22T21:40:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. President: 50 years ago, you spoke to us of Dr. Martin Luther King's "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice." Yesterday, that became true when health care reform was passed.! You opened the gates for us to appreciate that America's long history of slavery can be set aside through the strength of the last 2008 Presidential elections, even though it nurtured a culture of racism and set up an unequal but separate parallels of democratic universes, one for the white folks, another for folks of color. We went to Washington, D.C. our first to witness your inauguration, after being a citizen of America for 31 years. You appealed to the better side of America to elect you and to understand that we are one America, an America who is kind and compassionate. Yet, after you got to office, only the unkind, the greedy and the virulent loud voices of America came together to derail our common progress. But you would not let them, you saw a way of integrating us again, setting aside the financial wrongs, and working for a number of structural and regulatory solutions to anchor the economy right again and it did. But you did not stop there! Mr. President, what you did in the health care reform, even if your involvement was late in the legislative process, and perhaps fittingly so such that there be a real separation of powers between the executive and legislative branches, was to integrate our histories as a people, all the way from slavery to racism to the elections of the first African American president to now health care. We can now look back and say our unfinished struggles of a century on health care reform is no longer our burden. We can now move forward and we are! I am crying as you did not allow the lynching by words, the use of caustic and toxic words to derail you from integrating us once again as a kind, civilized nation. Mr. President, what you did is not just health care reform, you made us look back to these centuries of struggle and recapture what is good about America!

Thank you very much Mr. President, you will never know the extent of healing you have done for communities of color by this leadership act of yours! It is more than commendable, it is historically magnificent! Your mom and grandmom must be very proud that you learned your bill of rights so well and made it truly a reality for all of us, such that the pursuit of happiness is based on a healthy well-being of a nation and responsible personas of its citizens to care for those who have less and you did it for us!

P.S. But, you know Mr. President that while we will give you a space to honor your victories, savor your successes on this one, even lick some wounds that you may have had in the process, but perhaps not, we appeal to you to do a more comprehensive immigration reform that makes uncommon sense, uncommon in its humanity, uncommon in breaching the walls of separation, uncommon in really making America the beacon of light in the world that we all who once were foreigners, and now its beloved citizens also, believe in its spirit to draw us to these foreign shores to leave all that we love, all that we were comfortable with, all that we know so we can risk having a good life, let us now have a much better country that is more generous and less hateful, that is more kind and less scornful, that is more patient with reunifying families and less disablingly - cold to their yearnings. For as we allow these breaches, these separations of families that last for decades, we are simply keeping our country from harvesting God's unlimited grace. We are the United States of America and to those who did not know freedom before we learned it well through your example, and by the power of the ballot that change can happen for the better with a new president, and much more so when that president is you, Mr. Obama, who works for the highest common good of all! May you be guided in leading us to unify our country as we pass the next humane immigration reform bill ever to unify families! In unification is peace, in peace, we can settle more wars to end, but at first, we must end the wars within ourselves in this nation and unify our undocumented residents through a process of citizenship, with the rest of us! Under God, we are indivisible as a nation, may we behave as one family of immigrants once here and now!

Harana Men’s Chorus – Messengers of Spiritual Affluence

2010-02-13T21:29:00.000-08:00

“When living with music becomes natural, music ceases to be considered a luxury. If it forms a part in ordinary life, a child can play the violin in his or her humble home, another in the father’s garage, and many other can participate in recitals and concerts no matter where they live, in a coastal village as well as a community up on the hills. Material poverty is being defeated by the spiritual affluence. There is more to it – the latter can provide the physical condition, the ethical principles and the emotional and intellectual tools necessary when overcoming the former.” - Jose Antonio Abreu, 2001

We were fortunate to witness NVM Gonzalez play the violin during a visit in 1999. We have never been the same since that visit. Our major celebrations have been marked by live music: my 50th birthday, our 25th and 31st wedding anniversaries -- all because I have a resident lutier, my husband, Enrique, who learned to play the violin in his late fifties. At first, his bowing irritated me as it sounded scratchy, but through his persistence and daily practice which lasted for years, he became a decent violin player. When accompanied by a pianist who modulates the piano keys, their combination results in vibrance, in sounds coming alive, filling up my heart.

I felt the same way when Ed Nepomuceno, on the keyboard, accompanied the Harana Men’s Chorus during their practice one evening. He is the musical director of the Harana Men’s Chorus -- a group of singers who will be singing kundimans at a Valentine Serenade Concert entitled “Songs From the Heart.” The concert will benefit the capital campaign of the Immaculate Heart of Mary Church. The church has inaugurated its capital campaign of $1.9 million to renovate its structures, with 80% of the church members participating and 10% of the funds already collected in its first year. They have five years to fulfill this endowment goal.

I wondered how the Harana Men's Group was connected with Immaculate Heart of Mary Church. Who are some of their members?

Mike Zuniga who sings at Immaculate Heart of Mary Choir, joined this group. He was impressed by their willingness to give their best despite being ‘pagod from work.‘ “He learned the value of kundimans, based on love and commitments from different parts of the Philippines eager to share new Tagalog songs."

Gifted with a sterling voice, he has been the church’s music minister for 16 years. He credits music as turning his life around -- from holding down two jobs and occasional clubbing to a life of friendship and discovery of his heritage and culture, even enterpreneurship. He owns the House of Silvanas’ store located inside Kusina Restaurant in Fountain and Vermont, which was recently featured in the Los Angeles Times. On the day that his store was featured, customers kept coming.

Erwin Andaya has been singing for 20 years. He is a member of the Philippine Madrigal Singers, Singapore Lyric Opera and the Asian Youth Choir in Japan. No wonder he can memorize a song in less than 24 hours and sing it on chord -- either as bass, tenor or baritone. He graduated from the University of Sto. Tomas with a Bachelors degree in Music, major in Voice.

Annie Nepomuceno is the event producer for “Songs from the Heart – A Valentine Serenade Concert" on Feb. 14, 2010. Asian Journal is one of the media sponsors for this event.

Roxanne shared that she had coached professional singers -- from Concert Queens to American Idol finalists. She hardly gets starstruck, and focuses on whipping these famous artists into shape. "Famous or not, singing is their job and every artist's goal is to deliver,” she said.

Ed Nepomuceno is a professional musician, a musical arranger, a vocal coach and a singer. He was Ryan Cayabyab’s assistant for 15 years, and did arrangements for Lea Salonga, Gary Valenciano and Martin Nievera. He has a Bachelors degree in Music from the University of the Philippines and was a member of the Philippine Madrigal Singers for 12 years, San Miguel Master Chorale and the Los Angeles Master Chorale. He is the musical director of the Harana Men’s Chorus and he also arranges the music.

I was privileged to attend one of their rehearsals at a North Hills residence. Ed’s instructions brought out the emotionality and tonal quality of their voices. He was determined to bring out their distinct quality by telling them to "focus on the sound – as it moves forward, as it gets louder." It did not recede and became vibrant.

I was waiting for something positive, and on cue, he said “ Yes, very good! Focus on the chord – that’s here, on the forehead. Do you feel it?," he asked.

I understand now how sound is amplified, how sound does not just come out of a voice box, but sound comes from one’s being, out of one’s heart and spirit. There is a heart aspect, a physicality to it as well, but also a mental acuity to remember the lyrics and notes.

“Siguro yong paa mo, tumibok-tibok," he quipped. I thought he was referring to one’s heart, but he is making one’s feet tap dance, and describes it as a rhythmic beating to make the voices seem like tap dancing.

When the tenor had to reach a high note, he reminded him, “ Walang hininga yan – tuluy-tuloy…Brass then suave, note the contrast, when the music swells." He reminds them that the mark is a catch breath, not a full breath.

Oh my, I thought. There is more to singing than I realize. I was naïve to think that singing simply meant opening one’s mouth and vocalizing chords.

“Tenors are like sopranos, apat na vibrattos. Mayroong sustained voices. Very, very playful. Okay, one more time!," he instructed. Afterwards, with gusto, with a variation in tonal qualities, I was listening to chamber chorale music. I found myself being the only one to applaud, clapping on my own. I felt conscious, but not enough to restrain myself in sharing my compliments.
They were pleased. They should be. They came on time, sat down, and in two hours, went through 11 songs at least three times until they perfected them. At 10pm, they were ready to call it quits. I observed that they were quite polished, despite some of them being amateurs.

A performer once told me that there are three elements to a musical performance: knowing the chords, knowing the instrument and feeling the lyrics. The Harana Men’s Chorus had all three that night. Let us pray that they preserve their voices to be able to perform the same level of excellence that they displayed during the rehearsal.

Different perspectives bear fruit!

2010-02-07T16:55:00.000-08:00

“ Courage is the essence of faith. Only the brave can have faith. A wise person is willing to fight his battles within himself. He eventually becomes established in a higher state of mind.“- Swami Ashokananda

NVM Gonzalez is often described as a man who had an affair with letters.

I disagree.

I believe NVM had many love affairs – with his violin, with the love of his life, Narita, and of course, with his friends.

He loved folks quite deeply. He only wanted the best for them.

I remember one time, when NVM visited me, I practically shared all my life’s angst and anxieties for the week.

He heard every word yet, he did not give in to my complaints nor grievances. He did not even address them. Instead, he told me to write.

Ten years ago, I told him that I was not a writer. But, he believed that each person has a story to write -- that there is a genius lurking in all of us.

I told him that I write journals, but not for publication. He smiled and allowed me to have the last say that weekend.

Years later, it turned out to be the opposite. Now, I'm here writing about the process of how he got me to become a published writer.

A month after we last spoke, I shared with him how I felt while reading an American academic’s version of Philippine history.

T.H. Pardo de Tavera's Historical Role

Barbara Gaerlan was an academic who revised the role of T.H. Pardo de Tavera and synthesized his positive role of ushering “progress connected to the pursuit of modernity with the introduction of English language.” Her article exulted T.H.Pardo de Tavera, who was once depicted by Teodoro Agoncillo (a renowned historian) as someone who collaborated with American colonizers.

In fact, T.H. de Tavera was the first to defect to the Americans and even went further, advocating the annexation of the Philippines as a territory of the United States.

Gaerlan’s academic essay gave new interpretation to T.H. Pardo de Tavera’s role -- that he was a visionary who understood the role of English. He put the importance of American occupation in the foreground by using education, English as a medium of instruction and by emphasizing on the crucial role of the 600 Thomasites who were sent by the United States.

The article theorized that English became the instrument for the Philippine’s pursuit of modernity and ushered this country into the era of science and technology. It further implies that his legacy of the pursuit of modernity is itself revolutionary.

Is it possible to have two versions of one truth?

While being mentored by NVM, he asked me to read the history of my ancestors during the pre-colonization period. He handed me the work of Lucilla Hosillos, a book on the culture of our people in the 11th century. He also asked me to look into other sources from the UCLA research library.

He then asked me to write my piece in two months -- 15 pages, double-spaced.

He also asked me if he could provide the title to my piece. He paused, waited and I gladly gave my consent. “ The Man in the Outhouse: How Western Colonization Silenced the Filipino’s Imagination," he said.

His title was so intriguing that I spent six weekends in the library. When I finally finished, he was most encouraging and passed my work to the Amerasia Journal editors.

This is what I learned in my archival research. While Gaerlan’s work was academically well-researched and adequately footnoted, the synthesis of archival accounts superimposed her own interpretation of historical reality, and miseducated everyone about the meaning of Philippine colonial history to native Filipinos.

What Ms. Gaerlan failed to appreciate (which NVM guided me through a pathway to realize), is that Filipinos had a very rich, developed culture and way of life in pre-colonial times. Later interaction with four colonizers – Asian, European, Latin and American, who left their heritage, shaped modernity in this Philippine setting. From the 13th to the 16th century, the Philippines was a civilized society with a code of justice and ethics, a distinct form of language, oral literature and architecture, commerce and engineering, environmental riches and respect for nature, and strong family and community values.

After submitting my essay, I did not hear from the editors. I immediately assumed the worst, that hours of six weekends spent inside the library were wasted. But I did not question nor challenge their silence.

Months passed. I received a galley proof of the essay I wrote. I shared it with my husband, who is also my colleague and editor. This time, he read my account, but gave an opposite view on what Gaerlan offered.

We sat down to discuss the two divergent points of view. Gaerlan argued that Western colonization ushered my ancestors into modernity through a discovery of science and technology, while Teodoro Agoncillo and Milagros Guerrero’s History of the Filipino people described T.H. Pardo de Tavera as a firm believer in the superiority of American culture.

So enamored was de Tavera of the Americans that he advocated for the complete Americanization of the Filipino people and the adoption of the English language. He believed that English should be “ extended and generalized in the Philippines, in order that through its agency, the American spirit may take possession of us and that we may adopt its principles, its political customs, and its peculiar civilizations that our redemption may be complete and radical."

In short, Filipinos became little brown brothers for the United States. Believing that resistance was futile, de Tavera worked for a “ collaboration with America, and for the future admission of the Philippines as a state in the American union."

In fact, de Tavera in “ El Sanscrito en la lengua Tagalog “ catalogued more than 340 Sanskrit words in the Tagalog language, signifying “ intellectual acts, moral precepts, emotions, superstitions, names of deities, of plants, numerals, a higher order, botany, war, titles and dignitaries." These terms are indicative of the complexities of an emerging modern nation, before the 16th century. However, he missed the significance of his archival research and instead disdained Tagalog as “paralyz[ing] rather than promot[ing] progress “

What Gaerlan failed to appreciate is that de Tavera expressed disdain of his own native language. In fact, as cited by Resil Mojares, de Tavera himself chronicled in his 1920 address “The Heritage of Ignorance" his sentiments. So contemptuous was de Tavera of his native language that he criticized the literature of corridos, pasyon and novenas for fostering a belief system that “paralyzes rather than promotes progress."

Little did he know of the literary significance and vibrant Filipino imagination that were reflected in these diverse types of literary expressions.

Hence, rather than being a promoter of progress and modernity, as Gaerlan contends, de Tavera was reactionary and a collaborator of colonialism.

De Tavera failed to appreciate the creativity and sense of higher self of his fellowmen, as depicted in these literary expressions.

From that experience, I realized doing research paid lots of dividends. It allowed me to scrutinize different perspectives and to fully appreciate historical accounts and facts. I discovered our pre-colonial heritage, spanning several centuries, in its full magnificence.

As Janet Abu-Lughod once said, “ Western scholars not only begin the narrative 'too late' but they take only partial testimony, thereby biasing the reconstructed account. At the minimum, 'making up history' requires at least two types of persons working together, the archivists and the synthesizers."

It was through research that I learned that I was only partially right in the historical role of T.H. Pardo de Tavera. True enough, he ushered Filipinos into modernity, as Gaerlan asserts, but it was also true that de Tavera believed in the superiority of the Americans.

If I had not been sufficiently intrigued by what I read from Gaerlan’s essay and NVM Gonzalez' mentoring, I would not have found my muse, nor would have I taken the time to learn more about my history. I would've never discovered the true legacy of our ancestors.

NVM Gonzalez gave me a gift, one that I intend to pass on to the next generations. And likewise Barbara -- for without her essay and her new interpretation, I would not have prodded further and would not have done an intensive archival research. Now, I realize its importance.

I hope to see new fruits in 2010, borne from your writings, my dear readers.